Page 101 of Between Now and Always

“Drew Wolfe started raping me when I as seventeen,” she says this with the same casual indifference most of us talk about our day at work. My stomach clenches and Phils’ palms close into fists on the table. But, neither of us speaks or reacts, because even though her voice is indifferent, her body is rigid with tension and her eyes are haunted.

“The first time was the night of my high school homecoming game Junior year. He was in college and home for the game. I was so flattered when he picked me out of all those girls to take a ride with him. Until he refused to take no for an answer. He did it with three of his friends watching. All of them sons of the men who owned everything in Winsome. He didn’t let them touch me, but he let them watch.”

He joined the military and was gone living in Europe when I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t tell anyone who the father was and I prayed he would never find out.”

“But, he did?”

She nods bitterly.

“That monster, Tremaine, told him I was pregnant. He came home right after I’d given birth and he took you. And my parents let him, because he paid them more money than my father would see in a year. I didn’t even know where he’d taken you until I heard he was coming back from France with his new wife and that other baby. I kept quiet about it, I saw you with her…his wife and their other kids. I was heartbroken, but you were alive and so was I. I wasn’t ever going to tell anyone. I was married, working and minding my own business. Her lips twist in a grimace.

“Joel was nice. But, he wasn’t a strong man. Not at all. At first, I liked that because I knew it meant he could never hurt me. And then, Drew took over at Wolfe where Joel worked. And one day, he saw me coming to bring him lunch. And that was it. He wanted me again. And my husband let him have me in exchange for his job and an extra thousand bucks a month. When I got pregnant again - I begged Joel to leave with us. He wouldn’t. He said that Wolfe would pay good money for another baby and he beat me, tied me up and then left me in the house while he went over to the Wolfes to make his demands. I was sick. I didn’t want to let him have another one of my babies. By now, he was the absolute power in town. ”

She shakes her head at the memory, her eyes filling with tears again.

“But…then while Joel was gone, Agnes, Drew’s mother came and cut me loose. She put me on a plane to Albany New York, and gave me five thousand dollars in cash. She sent me to her friends who lived in Schenectady. When I left, Joel was alive and that house was not on fire. I didn’t hear anything about what happened once I left. I was staying with her friends. They took care of me, doctor’s visits and all. They talked about helping me find a job and get settled once you were born. Then, we found out I was having twins.”

You could have knocked me over with a feather. “I’m a twin?”

She nods, miserable and clearly living through the memory of that night. “I was so happy at first. I thought…you know that it was a new beginning. And then, we found out that one of the twins was a girl. That’s when everything changed. They weren’t nice anymore. I didn’t understand. Until, I heard them one night. Talking-to Agnes, and I knew their plans. They said no one could know about the girl. That they’d would take the boy to him…and kill me and frame me for Joel’s death.” She shakes her head, her eyes distant, as if she’s back in time, reliving the memory.

“That’s how I found out they’d killed him. Agnes shot him, set the house on fire and everyone thought I’d run off with someone. She told them, if I ever came back to Winsome, they’d all be ruined.”

I close my eyes against the wave of nausea that threatens to push my breakfast up.

“They didn’t want anyone to know about her because she would have a claim to the money.” Phil says in a wooden voice.

I glance over at him, surprised.

“What?” I ask.

But, he staring at Susan, his face pale and his jaw set. “So, what happened next?” he coaxes in a gentle voice.

“They kept me locked in that room. I gave birth there, with a doctor Agnes brought with her. She sat there, in a chair, watching the whole time. The girl, she came out first. And she was strong and loud and she had a whole head of blonde hair…but they took her away and didn’t even let me hold her. Agnes left and said she’d back be back in a week. I knew she was coming for you. I was so scared. The lady, turns out she wasn’t really Agnes’ friend, at least not to the point where she was willing to help her kill me. She let me go and told me to run. She gave me clothes, and shoes and you.”

She looks at me, longing and regret in her eyes.

“You were smaller than your sister, but perfect. I wasn’t going to make you live a life on the run. I just wanted to make sure they couldn’t find you. I was still bleeding after giving birth, and I was tired. I left you at the church in Ithaca, it was as far I could walk and I knew that devil would never think to look there.Then I went back to Texas and turned myself in.”

“Why did you do that?”

“I wanted them to know that I was alive and knew their plans. I thought maybe I could find a way to get my daughter back. In exchange for my silence. Drew came to the jail and told him what I wanted. He laughed. Said she was with a nice family, but if I did anything but plead guilty, they’d kill her. I felt so stupid. But my babies were all alive. Phil you were with his pretty French wife. I knew she loved you. So I changed my plea, and avoided death row and them. And this is where I’ve been.”

My lungs seize and my head starts pound. I can’t speak. I just stare at her. This is worse, so much worse than I imagined. What the fuck is wrong with these people? I don’t know how Beth survived.

“Did you say,East Winsome?” Phil’s question comes out as a croak.

“That’s what they said. The lady, the one who’s helping me, she thinks she might have found her, though. They’re doing DNA tests now.”

“What lady?” Phil asks.

“Her name is Serena Milne,” she says her name with affection and awe.

We exchange bewildered glances. “And who is she, exactly?”

“She’s with the FBI. She’s been working on this case for almost four years. She’s close to catching him she’s got someone on the inside who’s helping her get all the dirt of them. She’s gonna bring Wolfe and Tremaine down.”

“The FBI has been investigating The Wolfes? Are you sure she’s telling you truth?” Phil asks, his skepticism clear.

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