Page 18 of Crowned

I mean, I knew it. But I didn’t believe it. Until now.

That knowledge should be everything.

It is. Almost. But it doesn’t bring back Reef, Cove or Bhodi. It doesn’t diminish my love for them. It doesn’t get us out of here.

I sigh and stare out at the ocean once more. I can’t stop watching the way the sunlight hits the surface, the gentle waves causing the golden beams to undulate and dance. It’s mesmerising.

The urge to take the cliff face at a run, three, maybe four, paces and then launch myself into the air, knowing that for a moment in time I’d remain suspended before plummeting into the unfathomable depths below, is overwhelming.

Vance keeps offering for us to go down to the beach. To walk in the shallows. Even to swim. And I’ve turned him down every single time.

I don’t know why. I just wasn’t ready then.

The ocean has always felt like home to me. So why am I avoiding its siren song now?

“Malia,” Vance calls from somewhere nearby. He’s always close. Afraid to let me out of his sight again, after I vanished in the forest. I don’t initially turn to face him, but when he repeats my name with a touch more urgency in his tone this time, I do.

“Yes?”

“You’re a bit close to the edge, love,” he warns softly.

Glancing down, I see that he’s right. My toes are curled around the lip of the cliff. When did I move forwards?

I take a deep breath and force myself to step backwards, away from the edge and to safety.

“Sorry.”

I don’t know how to explain to Vance that the pull of the ocean is something tangible. I’ve always been drawn to it, but now it’s become a physical thing I can feel. Like a rope of invisible light coming from my chest, pulling me home.

Only I can’t control it, and it’s freaking me out.

Which is exactly why I don’t tell Vance. I don’t want him to worry too. He’s already on edge, constantly watching me, watching over me, protecting me. I don’t need to add more to his plate.

“Shall we take lunch in the grove today?” He asks.

I shake my head. “I’m not hungry.”

Absent-mindedly, I rub my stomach, which is cramping. Maybe I do need to eat, but the thought of food makes me feel nauseous.

Vance frowns. “You’ve not eaten much in a couple of days.”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him I don’t feel well, but again, I pause, not wanting to worry him.

I shoot him a soft, apologetic smile. “Maybe just a few olives and some fruit then?”

For him, I’ll try to eat. I’ll push aside my discomfort in an attempt to alleviate the anxious expression in his eyes.

“Good girl.”

His words make my cheeks heat and I have to look away. We’ve not been intimate since that night in the grove…several days ago now I think? But when he says things like that, my whole body lights up and pulses with need.

As we make our way towards the grove, I can’t shake the feeling of unease that’s been creeping over me. The invisible pull back towards the ocean grows stronger with each step, tugging at me relentlessly. It’s becoming harder to resist, harder to ignore.

When we reach our destination, I sit down on a fallen log, trying to push aside the swirling thoughts in my head. Vance sets out the foraged olives and fruit before joining me, his gaze searching mine for any sign of what’s bothering me.

“I’m just tired,” I offer as an explanation, knowing it’s not the whole truth, but unwilling to burden him with my inner turmoil.

Vance nods understandingly, his hand reaching out to gently squeeze mine. “Rest here for a while. I’ll keep watch.”

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