Page 49 of Finding Home

“I’m only twenty-four!” she shrieks, her dark eyes rimmed with tears. “Less than a month ago, I lost my lifelong best friend, and now, suddenly I’ve got to be a full-time, single mother who also has to babysit your ass, while also helping you transform into a model fucking father, while also learning to be a good parent myself, even though I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing!”

I rub her back. “It’s okay, baby. You’re doing great.”

“I’m faking it! I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, Caleb!”

“Take a deep breath, sweetheart. Breathe, Aubrey. You’re a superstar.”

Aubrey hiccups and wipes her eyes. “I had another nightmare about Claudia last night. The worst one yet. She begged me not to let her father take Raine away and do to her what he did to Claudia as a child.”

My heart stops. Aubrey has told me about Ralph beating Claudia’s mother. But she hasn’t said a word about Ralph beating Claudia, too.

“Ralph used to hit Claudia?”

Aubrey’s nostrils flare. “He did something worse than that. The worst possible thing, over and over again, beginning when she was around nine or ten.”

My stomach revolts. “Jesus Christ.”

“Claudia confessed it to me when we were twelve. But she told me he’d kill her and her mother if I told anyone, so I never did. And now, she’s gone, and I have to live with my mistake forever.” She wipes her eyes. “My parents would have helped Claudia and her mom, if I’d been smart enough to tell them the truth. I should have known that.”

“You were a kid.”

Aubrey shakes her head woefully. “Ralph told Claudia nobody would believe her, because he was a police officer, and she believed him. So, I did, too. But now, as an adult, I can plainly see we simply played into his hand.” She puts her hands over her face. “And now, thanks to me, it’s going to be my word against Ralph’s at the hearing, because Claudia isn’t here to tell the judge the truth, and I don’t know if my word will be enough to keep Raine safe.”

I gently remove her hands from her face and look deeply into her soulful, tormented eyes. “I won’t let Ralph get her. Baby, take a deep breath for me. That’s it, baby. Breathe. It’s gonna be okay.” When Aubrey’s chin trembles, I open my arms to her again, purely on instinct; and this time, she falls into them and lets me hold her sobbing frame for several minutes.

When Aubrey calms down enough to speak, she says, “When I moved in with Claudia in Seattle, we talked about everything as adults for the first time. She’d started going to therapy by then, and she was having all kinds of breakthroughs about her childhood and the abuse. She was even working up the courage to report her father to the police in Seattle. But now, she’ll never get the chance to do that.”

My heart squeezes. “Poor Claudia.”

“She was amazing, Caleb. The best mother to Raine. The best friend to me. I wish so badly you could have actually known the real her. She was so much more than the fangirl groupie you met.”

My heart feels like drumsticks are banging on it. “If only she’d taken me up on my offer to fly her and Raine out to LA to meet my family and me, I would have had the chance?—"

“What?” Aubrey’s flabbergasted expression makes it clear my revelation is news to her.

“I . . . Yeah. I offered to fly Claudia and Raine to my house in LA.”

“When?”

“About six months after Raine was born. I sent Claudia an email, directly, not through our attorneys, pleading with her to bring the baby to my house in Santa Monica. I told her about my mother’s diagnosis and explained time was short for her, but Claudia turned me down.”

“Are you sure? Maybe?—”

“Her exact words to me were, ‘Fuck off.’”

Aubrey gasps. “I don’t believe it.”

“I’ve still got the email.”

“But . . .” Aubrey rubs her forehead. “I was living with Claudia by then, and she told me everything. Caleb, Claudia constantly talked about youand what a shame it was that Raine’s ‘asshole sperm donor’ had zero interest in getting to know his beautiful child. Why would Claudia say all that to me, but not bother to mention you’d offered to fly her and Raine to your house in LA?”

“Maybe she was too embarrassed about shutting me down to admit the truth to you.”

Aubrey’s clearly not buying that explanation. “Can I see her email to you?”

“Sure.” I scroll on my phone to find it.

As I’m searching, Aubrey murmurs, “Why on earth would Claudia turn down the chance to come to your house? I would have thought she’d be giddy to get to do that. You were always her celebrity crush, even after she’d had sex with you.” She looks out at the lake. “Claudia was a compassionate person. That’s why she wanted to be a nurse.” She returns to me. “Surely, she would have said yes to you, solely based on the situation with your mother.”

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