Page 89 of Finding Home

Aubrey places her hand on my forearm, as I hang my head to hide my tears of relief. Ever since that interview at my house, and then, even more so, after that day at the duck pond, I’ve been losing sleep about what happened. Lying awake, second-guessing my choices on a running loop. And now, it turns out what I did is exactly what a good father would do?

Aubrey scratches on the notepad, and when I glance at it while still stuffing down tears, a massive lump rises in my throat.

I love you so much.

That’s what Aubrey’s note says, so, of course, I quickly scribble the same words back to her. I admitted my feelings for Aubrey on the stand earlier, but she couldn’t say it back to me then. So now, given my precarious mental state, the written exchange causes big, fat tears to well in my eyes through my beaming smile.

As the social worker leaves the stand, I flash her a grateful nod. And to my surprise, she flashes me a small smile. It’s almost imperceptible. Barely there. But I’m definitely not imaginingit.

“Let’s take a thirty-minute break,” the judge says with authority. “When we come back, I’ll issue my ruling.”

After the break, Ralph Beaumont is permitted back into the courtroom to hear the court’s ruling. So, the three of us and our lawyers are now seated at our respective tables, intently staring at the judge as she rustles papers and languidly checks her notes.

I know I’m not supposed to touch Aubrey in front of the judge, but I can’t help myself. The hearing’s over, anyway. What harm can come from it now? I grab Aubrey’s hand and squeeze tightly, and Aubrey squeezes right back. She looks every bit as stressed as I feel.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, the judge looks up, clears her throat, and states, “My ruling is as follows: this courttemporarilygrants Aubrey Capshaw legal and physical custody of the child, with full, uninhibited visitation rights granted to Mr. Baumgarten. This court alsopermanentlydenies the cross-petition of Ralph Beaumont. As the child’s sole, temporary guardian, Miss Capshaw has full discretion to decide who’s allowed access to the child, except, of course, she may not deny Mr. Baumgarten his visitation rights.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Ralph screams, so the brawny bailiff with the porn mustache swiftly escorts him out of the courtroom, once again.

With Ralph gone, the judge continues, “The period of my temporary order shall be six months. During that time, Mr. Baumgarten is hereby ordered to maintain his sobriety, to attend twice-weekly, mandatory sobriety meetings with a qualified rehab provider, and to attend once-weekly angermanagement classes.” She looks at me sternly. “I’d strongly recommend some parenting classes and personal therapy, too, given all your superhero antics, Mr. Baumgarten, but I’m not making either of those things part of my official ruling at this time.”

“Yes, your honor. Thank you. I’ll do whatever it takes to be the best father possible.”

The judge’s features soften. “Fitparents aren’tperfect, Mr. Baumgarten. There’s no such thing as a perfect parent or person. Which is why this court also hereby orders the following: if Mr. Baumgarten remains in full compliance with my temporary order for the full six months, legal and physical custody shall transfer to him, with full and unlimited visitation rights then granted to Miss Capshaw. If Mr. Baumgarten hasnotmet all the requirements of my temporary order by the end of the six-month period, however, then Miss Capshaw shall maintain sole legal and physical custody, withsupervisedvisitation rights for Mr. Baumgarten, until he’s able to establish full compliance, at which point the clock will reset for another six-month trial period. Do you understand, Mr. Baumgarten?”

Tears are streaking down my cheeks, but I don’t bother to wipe them. “Yes, your honor,” I squeeze out. “I won’t let you down. I won’t let my daughterdown.”

“That’s my firm hope.” She looks at Aubrey with sympathy. “I’m sorry for your loss. Wherever Claudia is, I’m sure she feels lucky to have you caring so deeply for her baby in her absence, the same way she would have done herself.”

Aubrey sniffles. “Thank you, your honor.”

The judge nods. “Best of luck to all. This hearing is adjourned.”

With my hand clasped in Aubrey’s, I pull her up andbear hug her; and for the next several minutes, we cry, rejoice, and whisper softly in each other’s arms.

“I love you, baby,” I choke out, thrilled to say the words I’ve been dying to say out loud for so long. “I couldn’t have done this without you.”

“I love you, too. I’m so happy.”

Aubrey’s parents, my sister, and Amy appear, and we break apart and gratefully accept their warm hugs and congratulations. When all combination of hugs have been administered, we tearfully head out of the courtroom as a group, with Aubrey and I leading the way with our hands firmly joined.

“Let’s go to a restaurant and celebrate,” I suggest, and everyone in our group expresses enthusiasm about the idea.

“Which room is Raine in?” Aubrey asks her mother, since Raine’s apparently been watchingMonster’s Inc.with a kind-hearted court clerk for the past hour.

Barbara opens her mouth to respond to her daughter, but before she gets a word out, Ralph appears in front of me, glaring and wagging his finger in my face. “I’d watch my fucking back, if I were you,C-Bomb,” Ralph hisses. “Nobody disrespects Ralph Beaumont like this and gets away with it.”

I push Aubrey behind me to protect her from whatever’s about to go down. But before I’ve wrapped my hands around the old man’s neck, Ralph is dragged away by that same brawny bailiff from the court room.

“Go get your daughter, C-Bomb!” the officer calls to me, after he puts a chokehold on Ralph. “I’ve got him. Go enjoy your family and forget this piece of shit ever existed.”

Chapter 34

Aubrey

“I’ve been waiting all day to do this,” Caleb murmurs, as he closes his bedroom door behind him and starts stripping off my clothes like they’re on fire.

“I love you so much,” I gasp out breathlessly, right before Caleb takes my face in his large palms and kisses me with such passion, with such intimacy andlove,my knees buckle in response.

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