Page 58 of Finding Home

When I reject his kiss, Caleb furrows his brow in confusion, so I jut my chin toward Raine by way of explanation.

“Seriously?” Caleb murmurs. With a sigh, he guides Raine off the chair. “Go change into your swimsuit, Shortcake. I’ll have breakfast waiting for you, when you get back.”

With a little hoot of excitement, Raine runs off, and the minute she’s gone, Caleb folds his arms over his broad chest, leans his ass against the counter, and asks, “Why can’t I kiss you in front of her?”

“Because I don’t want her feeling confused or upset, when things don’t pan out the way she’s hoping.”

“When?”

I bite the inside of my cheek. If my word choice is a surprise to him, then he’s the least self-aware human being on Planet Earth.

Caleb sighs. “She’s two, Aubrey.”

“Old enough to get her hopes up. You don’t think she’s already been bombarded with happily ever afters in all her cartoons?” I run a hand through my hair. “Look, last night was amazing, but the chances of this thing working out between us, long-term, are slim to none, and we both know it.”

“We do?”

“We’re going to be in each other’s lives for a very long time, thanks to our mutual love of Raine. So, let’s be smart and not do something to make it, you know, awkward for us in the future, when things don’t . . .” I stop talking when I realize Caleb looks pissed as hell. “You disagree?” I ask hopefully.

His jaw muscles pulse. “Doesn’t matter what I think. You’re the one with all the answers, apparently. We’ll do whatever you want, Aubrey.”

“I never said I have all the answers or that this is what Iwant. The only thing that matters is that hearing in a month, Caleb. We can’t screw that up. Plus, I’m in charge of your rehab, remember?”

“No, I’m in charge of that. That’s on me.”

“You know what I mean. I’m in charge ofoverseeingit.Managingit. So, it’s obviously in everyone’s best interests if we keep certain things on the down low, until we’re done with rehab and the hearing. If you’re still interested in kissing me when Raine is watching, when we’re notrequired to live under the same roof anymore, then, okay, maybe we can?—”

“I get it, Aubrey.” He throws up his hands. “You want me to be your dirty little secret.”

I’m shocked. That’s what he thinks I’m saying? “That’s not what I meant.”

“Whatever. It’s fine.” His green eyes bore into me. “Just so I understand, you’re saying you’re open to doing what we did last night again . . . as long as nobody knows you’d stoop that low?”

Is he fucking kidding me?What the fuck is wrong with this man?“I’m notstoopingto anything,” I reply calmly, even though I want to scream at him and throttle him. “I’m saying we don’t want the social worker or the judge to sniff us out. Not to mention, I’m guessing sobriety coaches aren’t supposed to fuck their . . . wards. Clients. Charges. Whatever the fuck you are.”

Caleb subtly licks his lower lip. “Just tell me this. Do you regret what we did last night?”

Regret? Again, he’s so off the mark, I could slap him. How could he possibly think that, after the way my body reacted to his—not once, butthreetimes? “I don’t regret anything. Wanting to do the best thing for Raine isn’t the same thing as regretting what I did with you. It’s not always about you.”

Caleb’s eyes flash with anger, and I know I’ve messed up. Why’d I say that? Why am I pushing him away like this?

“Yeah, it’s always about me,” he spits out. “That’s why I’m here in Prairie Fucking Springs for three fucking weeks, when all I want to do is sleep in my own goddamned bed in Santa Monica. That’s why I took the risk of leaving rehab early, even before I knew if?—”

Raine barrels into the kitchen wearing the hot pink,ruffled bikini Caleb bought for her in Billings, and he smashes his lips together. Although “wearing” is a stretch in this instance, since Raine’s got the top on backward and upside-down and the frilly bottoms inside-out.

“Great job, kiddo!” Caleb bellows, just as I’m about to head over to Raine to help her put everything on correctly.

“You ready for some pancakes, Rainey Baby?” Caleb booms, scooping her up.

“Yessss!” she shrieks.

As Caleb gets Raine situated in a chair, he glares at me like he wants to strangle me. Or is that fuck me? Maybe both.

I take a seat next to Raine, figuring Caleb is right: it’s better to support her independence than correct her messed up bathing suit. I mean, whether the thing is on correctly or inside-out and backwards, it’s still functional, right?

The thing that’s not quite as functional, though? Caleb and me. Clearly, neither of us knows how to navigate this new, physical stage of our forced situationship. That much is now abundantly clear to me. And I’m not sure how to get clarity, going forward.

Chapter 22

---