Page 56 of Finding Home

Streaks of light.

Stars.

They’re lighting up my blurred vision like a fireworks display, as my body empties itself into her. Well, into the condom, anyway. I swear, I’ve never regretted wearing a condom more in my life. After news of Claudia’s pregnancy reached me, I swore I’d never have sex again without a condom. But in this moment, the idea of making a baby with Aubrey doesn’t freak me out. It thrills me.

When my body stops shuddering, I pause to catch my breath, while Aubrey does the same underneath me. That was the most intense, outrageously addicting sexual experience of my life. Hands down. I don’t know if I’m truly falling in love with Aubrey, like my body’s telling me. It’s distinctly possible the intensity of my feelings is purely situational. The product of my blooming love for Raine mixed with my gratitude to Aubrey for making that lovepossible. But lying here now on top of Aubrey, it sure feels like it.

I guess the only thing I know for sure is I want to have sex with Aubrey again and again. Tonight. Tomorrow night. The night after that. As much as humanly possible, every chance I get, while my brain figures out if my body’s telling the truth about my feelings . . . or if it’s simply hopelessly horny and deeply confused.

Chapter 21

Aubrey

“Ilove you,” I murmur.

Caleb is softly kissing every inch of my naked body, from head to toe, making me swoon and sigh along the way.

He taps my cheek with his fingertip. “Auntie Aubbey.”

“Caleb,” I purr. “I didn’t mean to fall in love with you, but I couldn’t help it.”

Caleb smiles like a demon. “Good to know I’ve got another person to fuck over.” He taps my cheek again.Tap, tap, tap.“I use my inside voice like a big girl, Auntie Aubbey. ‘Ake up.”

What the fuck? I open my eyes and find a pair of blue eyes staring at me from an inch away.

“I smell pancakes,” Raine whispers excitedly, delivering another set of taps to my cheek.

I sniff the air and return her smile. “I smell them, too.”

Raine squeals. “Pop-Pop?”

“Or maybe Caleb—Dadda—got up early to make them for you.”

“Let’s go see!” Raine scrambles out of bed excitedly andthen jumps around from foot to foot, when I’m not nearly as fast-moving. “Come on!” she shrieks at me, wriggling and waving her arms. “Let’s go!”

Cut me some slack, kid. Auntie Aubbey got the living hell fucked out of her last night. Three times.And now, my most intimate muscles feel like they’ve been put through a meat grinder—in the best possible way, of course.

I place my feet on the floor with a big yawn, which Raine takes as her cue to sprint the door. “Rainey, wait,” I call out. “Check your nighttime panties, honey.” I’ve learned not to call her nighttime pull-up adiaper. Raine the Big Girl only wearspanties.

With a little huff of impatience and an eyeroll that reminds me so much of Claudia, it hurts, Raine yanks down her disposable, big-girl diaper to her knees and takes a peek at its crotch. “I did it!” she announces proudly. “No pee-pee!”

“Great job!” I motion toward the door. “Now go to the bathroom like a big girl, and we’ll go to the kitchen after that to see if it’s Pop-Pop or Dadda making you breakfast.”

Raine squeals with delight, and off she waddles toward the bedroom door with her pink pull-ups still at her knees and her tiny, naked butt on full display.

Raine was doing fabulously well with potty training before Claudia’s accident, other than a few occasional mishaps at night. But since her entire world came crashing down less than a month ago, the poor girl started having regular accidents again, which means our regular routine now includes lots of reminders and pull-ups at night.

As Raine does her thing in the bathroom, I wait at the door holding a sundress and a pair of panties for her to slide into when she’s done. When she emerges, however, Itell her I didn’t hear the faucet and turn her around to wash her hands for the full length of “The Birthday Song.”

When that bit of business is done, Raine throws on the clothes I’ve picked out for her in the hallway, while I use the bathroom myself. Due to Raine’s intense separation anxiety since Claudia’s death, I’m expecting her to be waiting at the bathroom door for me when I come out. But to my surprise and delight, Raine is long gone when I emerge.

I follow the sounds of Raine’s happy squeals toward the kitchen. And while I’m still in the hallway, her squeals become mixed with the delectable sounds of Caleb’s deep rumble of a voice, saying something I can’t quite make out. Whatever it is, it’s obvious he’s cheerful. Enthralled, I’d even say. And a second later, the same song Caleb played yesterday for Raine—the one he said is called “Fool in the Rain”—begins blaring.

I enter the kitchen and discover the pair bopping in place to the song while making breakfast together.

Caleb looks up with a smile when he notices me. “Good morning,” he says brightly. “How’d you sleep, beautiful?”

“Beee-yootiful!” Raine echoes, making Caleb laugh.

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