Page 41 of Finding Home

I motion.Come here.

He pauses. Scowls. Kicks a rock in the street. But, finally, he starts slowly sauntering toward me.

“You can’t do that,” I snap, when he’s close enough to hear me speaking at a normal volume.

“I needed a minute to myself,” he snaps back, coming to a stop in front of me.

“I can’t let you out of my sight, unless you’re in a controlled environment, or else I can’t certify your sobriety?—”

“Fucking hell, Aubrey. Give it a fucking rest, would you?”

My eyebrows shoot up. “Excuse me? You’re the one who begged me to be your babysitter, Caleb, the last thing I ever wanted to be; so, please, feel free to find someone else to?—”

“Would you stop breathing down my neck all the time? This isn’t about you. I just needed a goddamned minute to myself.”

I cross my arms over my chest. “Tell me something. Doyou think running away from Raine is more or less likely to make her trust you? Hmm?”

Caleb exhales a long, exhausted breath. His shoulders sag. He looks up at the sky. “Why doesn’t she like me? How long am I supposed to keep banging my head against a fucking wall?”

My jaw hangs open. “You can’t be serious.”

He returns his gaze to me and stares with hard eyes, letting me know, yes, he’s dead fucking serious.

“You’ve been at this for less than forty-eight hours,” I remind him with annoyance. “And you’realreadyready to give up?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Your actions did. And actions speak louder than words. You ran away, when the going got tough, Caleb.Again.”

“I took a break.”

“Call it what you want, but whatIsaw was you making a choice to abandon Raine, yet again.”

He scoffs.

“Fathers don’t get to take breaks whenever they please, Caleb. Sometimes, they have to stick around and be the adult in the room, even when it’s frustrating. Even when they feel rejected. Even when they’re a rockstar who’s used to constant adulation and fucking pandering.”

He scoffs again, except this time he also adds an eye-roll into the mix.

“She was having atantrum,” I persist. “Not only because she misses Claudia. Not only because she doesn’t know you from Adam. Not only because she’s testing you. But because she hasn’t learned to regulate her emotions yet. Because she’stwoand therefore doesn’t always have the right words to express her big feelings.” He finally lookslike he’s listening now, so I add, “You’ll be happy to know Raine has tantrums with me, too.”

He looks surprised. And, yes, happy about the revelation.

“And if Claudia were still here, she’d be having tantrums with her, too.” I narrow my eyes. “You asked what it’s going to take?Consistency. Sticking with it. Proving to Raine you won’t run away, no matter what, no matter how much she screams or tests you. Guess what you just taught her, Caleb? ‘When I’m sad and scared, Coobie abandons me.’ Is that the lesson you wanted her to learn about you today?”

Throughout my speech, Caleb keeps wincing, repeatedly, like I’ve been stabbing him in the chest with an ice pick. But he says nothing.

“Parenthood is a show-me-don’t-tell-me kind of thing,” I huff out. “Show Raine she can trust you, and she will. Maybe not today, but soon. But run away when the going gets tough, and she’ll never trust you. Keep doing that, and I’ll be forced to tell the judge I don’t think you’re up to the job of fatherhood. That, instead,I’mthe one who should be awarded full custody.”

I wasn’t planning to reveal my Plan B to Caleb. I figured, if I wind up feeling the need to pivot at the hearing and fight for myself, I’d ambush Caleb by doing that. But in this moment, I can’t think of a better way to light a fire under Caleb’s stubborn, stupid ass than explaining all possible consequences of his choices.

When Caleb doesn’t speak, I forge ahead and fill the thick silence. “If you’ve realized being a father isn’t what you want, then stop wasting my time and Raine’s. Stop confusing her and giving her false hope, because she’salready been through enough, and I’m not going to let you traumatize her further.”

Caleb’s intense, green gaze bores into me for a long moment, during which I feel physical heat wafting off him. Plainly, he hates my guts now. It’s written all over his?—

Without warning, Caleb slides a big, calloused palm onto my cheek and leans in to kiss me. And even though I’ve been fantasizing about him doing this exact thing, all day long, I summon otherworldly willpower, put my palm against his chest, and turn my head. “We shouldn’t, Caleb. We can’t.”

Caleb drops his hand from my cheek and steps back. “Sorry,” he mutters. “It won’t happen again.”

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