Page 28 of Finding Home

“Please, stop fighting me, Caleb,” she says on an exhale. “If I don’t follow the rules, the rehab center won’t certify your rehab, and the judge?—”

“I know all that, Aubrey. No need to say it out loud.” Imake a shooing motion. “Go on. Get your shoes on, babysitter, or I’m leaving without you.”

With a little gasp of excitement, she turns and bounds away, her hot little ass a work of art as she goes; and a moment later, she reappears in white sneakers, workout shorts and a tank top, with her dark hair pulled back into a ponytail. When she reaches me, Aubrey stuffs earbuds into her ears and makes a big show of turning on a playlist on her phone.

“Ready,” she chirps. “Lead on.”

With a deep sigh, I grab my earbuds from my pocket, slide them into my ears, and head to the dirt trail that follows the lake’s shoreline; and when I’ve checked behind me and confirmed Aubrey’s indeed trailing behind by about twenty yards, I place a FaceTime call to my sister, Miranda—a call I’m deeply dreading. She’s undoubtedly going to ream me. And when she does, I’ll one-hundred-percent deserve it.

Chapter 11

Caleb

France is eight hours ahead of Prairie Springs, so I texted my sister yesterday evening, while she was fast asleep, that I’d be FaceTiming her around 4:00 pm Paris time to get her up to speed on something important.

“Hey,” Miranda says, answering my call. She’s got a full face of makeup and the top of whatever she’s wearing is sparkly. Clearly, she’s dressed to paint Paris red with the group of girlfriends she flew there with the other day. “Is this about selling the cabin?”

“No. I haven’t decided about that yet.”

Concern flickers across Miranda’s face. “What, then?”

I flap my lips together. “I’m just gonna cut to the chase, because there’s no easy way to say this.” I inhale deeply. “I’ve got a two-year-old daughter named Raine. I came to Prairie Springs yesterday to meet her for the first time, and I found out she’s incredible, Miranda. An angel on Earth.”

I’ve done the impossible: rendered my chatty, vivacious sister speechless. After a moment, however, Miranda gathers herself enough to express confusion and shockabout my revelation. She demands details, which I provide in a long ramble. And by the time I’m finished talking, my sister is no longer shocked and confused. She’s flat-outenragedby my secrecy before now.

“You’re telling me Mom died without knowing she had a granddaughter?” Miranda shouts at top volume. “Caleb Baumgarten, how could be so heartless and selfish?”

I try to explain myself, as best I can, but even as I try to defend myself, my sorry excuses sound hollow and insufficient, even to me. “If it matters,” I say, “I reached out to Raine’s mother, Claudia, about six months after Raine’s birth, asking to fly both of them down to my house to meet you and Mom, but Claudia told me to fuck off. When I reached out again a few months later, it turned out she’d blocked me.”

“And that stopped you?” Miranda bellows, tears streaming down her cheeks. “If you really wanted to meet your child—Mom’sgrandchild—you could have flown to Seattle to try to convince Claudia in person.”

“You’re right. I should have done that. In my defense, Mom was really sick by then, and I didn’t feel like I had the emotional bandwidth to try and possibly fail. I didn’t want to give Mom false hope, if things didn’t work out.” When my sister glares at me, I rough a hand down my face. “I’m sorry, Miranda. I fucked up. When I found out she’d blocked me, I decided to leave it alone till Mom got better and try again later.” I swallow hard. “But, of course, Mom never got better, so . . .”

Miranda bursts into sobs, and the already jagged pieces of my heart scraping inside my chest cavity shatter a bit more. “All those times I visited you in rehab,” she says, “you never once thought to mention?—”

“I’m sorry, Miranda. I was selfish andstupid.”

“No, you were beyond selfish and stupid. You were cruel and heartless. An asshole-douchebag!”

“I don’t know if you’ll ever be able to forgive me, but I promise I’ll never lie to you again.”

Miranda wipes a tear. “If you do, you’re fucking dead to me, Caleb.”

“I understand.” She’s said that before, but she’s never once followed through with it. For reasons I’ll never understand, my sister always defends me. Always supports me. No matter what bullshit I put her through.

Miranda inhales deeply and wipes her eyes. “How’d the meeting with Raine go yesterday? Did she like you?”

I can’t help smiling at the memory. “Like is too strong a word. But she warmed up to me by the end of our first meeting.” I tell my sister the whole story about Raine teaching me to color, and how brilliantly Aubrey drew Raine out of her shell, and Miranda cries throughout my entire telling.

“Goddammit, you prick,” she murmurs. “You’ve ruined my makeup. Now, I’m gonna make all my friends wait for me, as I redo it.”

“Where are you going tonight?”

“Some fancy night club. I don’t know.” She wipes her eyes again. “Should I cut my trip short and come to Prairie Springs?”

“No, stay there. Have fun. Once I’ve made some progress with Raine on my own, you can come meet her.”

“Can I at least see a photo of my niece?” Miranda asks.

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