Page 10 of Finding Home

Fuck, fuck, fuck. For three weeks now, I’ve been having horrible nightmares about Claudia’s father showing up, out of nowhere, to rip Raine away from me, when I should have been having them about this man, all along. “Maybe, maybe not,” I manage to say, sounding a whole lot more confident than I feel. “Either way, I’m sure you’ll agree there’s a time and place for a first meeting, and this isn’t it.”

“Why not? When’s the right time, according to you?”

“All I know is you can’t show up here, out of the blue, after two years of being a deadbeat dad, and?—"

“I’m not adeadbeat. I’ve been paying child support, since day one. Double what any court would have ordered me to pay, plus all Claudia’s medical expenses from the pregnancy and birth. I realize it’s not much better, but I’m not a deadbeat. I’m anabsenteefather.”

I scoff. “Excuse me if I don’t rush off to polish your Father of the Year trophy.”

“I’m not saying I’m proud of myself. Just saying there’s a difference.”

I roll my eyes. “Okay, well, pat yourself on the back any way you want, if it helps you sleep at night. But the fact remains you can’t just waltz in here and meet Raine, and play daddy for fifteen minutes before disappearing again, mere weeks after she lost her mommy. She still doesn’t completely understand Claudia’s never coming back, C-Bomb. So, I can’t allow you to come here and confuse her into thinking?—”

“Caleb.” When I pause, he adds, “I’m not here as C-Bomb. I’m Caleb Baumgarten, and that kid in there ismine.” His green eyes are blazing. “And I didn’t come here to play daddy for fifteen minutes. I admit I’ve made mistakes in the past. I know that. I regret them. So I’ve come to make things right, as best I can.”

Panic floods me.What the fuck does that mean?Has this man come to take Raine away from me? I force myself to ask the question I’m not sure I want to know the answer to: “Make things right,how?”

“I’m her family,” he says, leveling me with hard eyes. “Herfather. I convinced myself she was better off without me, when she had her mother. But now that Claudia is gone, I can’t sit by and let a non-family member?—”

“Non-family member?” I shriek, anger flashing inside me. “I’m morefamilyto that little girl than you’ll ever be. While you were busy fucking another groupie, you want to know what I was doing, C-Bomb? Holding Claudia’s right hand during Raine’s birth, while her mother held her left.” I’m gathering steam now. “And only a few months after that, I came back and moved my whole life to Seattle to live with Claudia and Raine, for good. I was there for Raine’s first bite of solid food. Her first word, crawl, and step. Her first and second birthdays. And where were you all that time? What were you doing that was so important you couldn’t be there for your baby girl? So, don’t you dare come here and?—"

“Would you calm the fuck down?” he bellows. “Jesus Christ.” He roughs a palm down his face and takes a deep breath. “I didn’t say ‘non-family member’ as fighting words, okay? I said it as a neutral, objective fact. Raine ismyblood, not yours. Raine hasmygenes inside her, not yours. She’smyfamily, both legally and biologically. So, while I thank and respect you for being anhonoraryfamily member to Raine all this time, for helping raise my kid when I was admittedly too big a flop-dick-asshole-loser to do it, the objective fact remains she’smykid, and I’m not going anywhere, now that I’m here, whether you like it or not.”

I let out a shaky breath and mutter, “If you think tellingme to calm the fuck down is going to calm me down, then you’re as stupid as you look.”

C-Bomb tilts his head back, so it feels like he’s speaking to the blue sky above when he grumbles, “Can we please just fast-forward to the part where we talk like adults about a very difficult situation? Or are you too young to understand what being an adult means?”

“Fuck you. I’m more of an adult than you’ve ever been in your entire goddamned life.”

He sighs. “That’s fair.”

“And, no, there’s no fast-forward button. Not when you’ve been a dick-headed deadbeat dad. Oh, sorry, absenteefather for two solid years.” I put my hands on my hips and glare at C-Bomb like I’m ready to throw down if he so much as twitches. I’m not normally combative by nature. In fact, I’m usually quite the friendly little peacemaker. But this asshole’s got my momma-bear instincts flaring.

I’m grateful he stepped up financially and without forcing Claudia to go through an exhaustive legal battle to get the money. But there’s no amount of cash that can buy my respect. And I adamantly donotrespect a man who preferred to pay an exorbitant amount each month to keep his child firmly out of his life, forever. Seriously, how has this sorry excuse for a man slept a wink over the past two years? How did he not at least feel the desire, even once, to ask Claudia for a fucking photo of his child?

“We can do this the easy way or the hard way,” C-Bomb says evenly, his eyes boring holes into my face. “Talk to me in a civilized manner, or I’ll have no choice but to sick my lawyer on you.”

A soft whimper escapes my throat, and C-Bomb’s features soften, ever so slightly.

“I swear, I didn’t come here to threaten you,” he saysquickly, one large palm raised. “I didn’t come to fight. I came here to meet my daughter and work with you, not against you, so she doesn’t wind up in the hands of Ralph Beaumont.”

“Ralph Beaumont?” I gasp out. He’s got my full attention now.

C-Bomb gruffly pulls out a piece of paper from his backpack. “His lawyer sent this letter to my lawyer. Can I step forward to give it to you, or will you scream bloody murder again, if I come near you?”

I roll my eyes. “I screamed when I saw you, as anyone would, because you were spying on me like a creeper, C-Bomb.” I march down the porch steps, closing the gap between us. And when we’re on the same level on the walkway, I finally grasp how tall he truly is: a full foot taller than me.

“Call me Caleb,” he says, as he hands the letter to me.

I don’t understand why he cares. I’ve seen countless interviews where the interviewer and even his own bandmates called him C-Bomb, and that’s what Claudia called him, too, even after his dick had been inside her. But whatever. As much as I’d like to continue rankling him, I’m also a firm believer in calling people whatever they’ve asked to be called.

“Fine.Caleb.” I snatch the letter from him and start to read; and with each passing sentence, my heart rate quickens some more. Midway through, I look up, aghast. “Ralph is demanding full custody? We can’t let that happen. He’s a horrible, violent man. Claudia never once let him anywhere near Raine.”

C-Bomb gives me a curt nod. “That’s why I’m here. Finish reading.”

I do as I’m told and find out Ralph thinks ajudge would side with C-Bomb over him in a custody battle, since both men have never met Raine; but Ralph isn’t quite as convinced he’d beatme,if push came to shove. His solution? He wantsC-Bombto forge an alliance with him to knockmeout of the picture, at which point, Ralph would then take Raine, through a private, side agreement with C-Bomb, under the same terms as C-Bomb’s arrangement with Claudia.

I look up from the letter in my hand, feeling like I’m going to vomit. “The ‘loving arms of her grandfather?’ Caleb, Ralph is a violent sociopath. As a kid, I personally saw him beat the shit out of Claudia’s mother, right in front of Claudia and me, and Claudia said he did it all the time. Please, we can’t let that horrible man?—”

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