Page 83 of Restorations

I want to see him happy, but he’s right.

This is exactly where I want to be. It’s exactly where I was supposed to end up. And I’ll be damned if I mess this up.

I’ll never be my father, or Linc, or Colt.

I’m Asher fucking Sterling, husband to Vivienne Sterling, and that will always be who I am.

EPILOGUE

ASHER

Two years later . . .

I fill my teacher’s assistant in before running out of my classroom and down the hall to Baz’s classroom. I signal to his teacher and quickly tell him that Baz and I have to go to the hospital because Viv is in labor.

My heart is racing, and I can’t fucking get there fast enough.

Baz and I go out to the car, and I'm cursing traffic under my breath before we know it.

“Do you think Mommy is scared?”

I hope not. I should be there. Fuck! “Your mom is the bravest person I know. She’s probably doing way better than me.”

“You’re scared.”

Petrified. Not about being a dad. I already feel like a dad, but to see my wife go through any pain, to wait and make sure the baby is okay. Her due date isn’t for a few days, but I should have stayed with her.

Still it helps to know Lola was with her when her water broke and is there with her now. Not leaving her side. Probably ordering the doctors around.

“You’re going to be my brother’s daddy?”

I swallow the ache and turn to him since the car isn’t moving anyway. “Yes.”

He thinks about it. Older now, but still so young. “Are you mine?”

My heart squeezes in my chest because I feel like I am. And it feels treacherous, like I’m betraying my brother. “Your biological father was my brother, Baz.”

“Colt.”

We’ve never stopped talking about him, and we never will. I nod. “Yes. He and your mom made you together before his accident.”

“But are you my daddy now?”

“Do you want me to be?”

He thinks about it. Baz always thinks first. “Yes.”

I can’t stop the feeling of pride and, maybe, excitement too. “He will always be part of you. Always be your dad too. But if you want my name on all the future forms where your dad’s name goes, and you want to tell everyone you meet I'm your dad, nothing would make me prouder.”

He smiles, and although it feels slightly odd to have to explain this someday, I know it doesn’t really matter.

Colt left a piece of himself behind when he died. Baz was our gift, and I'll make damn sure he has everything he needs.

“You love Mommy?”

“Very much.”

“And me?”

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