Page 76 of Restorations

He shrugs. “Don’t.”

I accept his answer, and he leaves me alone to think. We all thought Colt was the good one our entire lives. But the truth is, he was only human. And he broke.

I look back at the house and then straight ahead again. Vivienne has given me space because she’s smart enough to know I’m not ready to discuss this yet.

But Linc’s right. I want my girl.

39

ASHER

I’ve been avoiding Viv like the plague. Shocker, I know. This is what I do.

I want to go to her, but I’m a fucking coward. The things she said . . .

I gulp, thinking about the things she said to me about Colt. About us. I lift my water glass to my lips as I take a drink and listen to the mundane, totally normal conversation at dinner. Celebrating another week being over.

Everything feels so damn normal as I look around the table and see Hayden sitting next to Lola, and Penelope with Linc next to her. Viv is on Linc’s other side, and Baz is in between us. My mother sits next to me with Tony beside her.

No matter how many seats we add to the table, there will always be an empty space.

I can hear Colt’s laugh, but it’s faint. It grows quieter and quieter every single day, and it’s horrifying to me.

How can I forget him?

How can I tell Viv how damn much I love her and allow myself to be happy when he’s not here?

“So, are we going to talk about that ring on your finger, little miss?” I zone back to the conversation when I hear my mother’s voice and see she’s talking to Lola.

She’s sporting a diamond on her finger. I look to Hayden. “You finally did it?”

He grins, beaming with pride. “I did it a while ago.”

Lola smiles brightly. “It was inevitable, I suppose.”

I’ve never seen her look this happy, and goddamn, I feel nothing but happiness for her. And him. “Wow. Congrats.”

My mom is obviously pleased. “Oh, I'm so happy! Where are you two getting married? Have you set a date?”

The lovebirds look at each other and then back at Mom. Lola is the one to answer. “Soon. Here. On the beach with everyone who’s sitting right here.”

My mom looks happy about that and nods. I’m just fucking glad they aren’t dragging us out to the lake. I don’t think I can do that again. “That sounds lovely.”

During the rest of dinner, everyone else is busy talking about the upcoming wedding, but my thoughts remain in the past. Where they always are.

How happy would Colt be about his Pea’s long-lost brother marrying Lola? I think he would be happy.

After dinner, I decide to try to make up for all my bastard years and do the dishes while everyone else gathers in the living room for a drink. It’s not like I'm through being a bastard, but it helps to get some points back.

But Lola, my sweet, nosey as fuck sister, can’t help herself. She comes in under the guise of helping me out, but I know she’s here to talk.

“Congrats, Lols. I’m happy for you.”

She looks down at the ring with that same goofy grin she gets anytime she’s around Hayden. “Thanks. Now what are we going to do about you?”

I roll my eyes and place a plate in the dishwasher. “There’s nothing to do.”

“Yeah. There is, Asher. You have to move forward. I can’t be truly happy until you are.”

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