Page 75 of Restorations

“Oh? You talked to her?”

He shakes his head and braces his hands on my shoulders. “No. But I know what she means. We were all afraid we were going to turn into that motherfucker. So afraid, we made sure we didn’t, but Colt . . .”

“Colt. The fucking perfect one, Linc.” It’s like I'm desperately begging him to be on my side.

“Maybe our father was like that once too. I don’t know, and I don’t fucking care. All I know is Colt was struggling hard before he died. He had so much guilt. Guilt I didn’t understand until Viv showed up on my porch with Baz.”

“Yeah well, you know all about guilt.”

It’s low, but I can’t pretend Linc hasn’t done anything shitty. He fucked his brother’s girl. “Yeah. I do. I definitely do, and I'll gladly let you hate me for the rest of my life before I say anything bad about Colt, but no one is perfect. No. One.”

What the fuck is he saying?

“How could she have said that?”

His head swivels to look toward the house before meeting my eyes again. “She loves you.”

I scoff and push his hands away. “She loves me so fucking much that she wants to make me believe that Colt was anything less than perfect?”

“Yes. She wants you to open your goddamn eyes. She wants you to move out of your grief and try to move forward.”

“I was.” I point to my chest with anger and fear because I know he’s right. I drop my chin to my chest in defeat. “I don’t want to forget him.”

“No one will ever forget him. Ever. He lives on.”

“Baz.” I state matter of factly, and he nods, taking a deep breath.

“Yes. And in us. Our future kids. We’ll still see him, and we’ll remember the good, even though maybe we understand now that . . .”

I look up at him, my big brother who I fought so long to be nothing like. He’s mature now. Calm and happy. He’s exactly what Colt would have wanted him to be. And nothing similar to what our father wanted. “Understand what?”

“That he wasn’t perfect.”

I shake my head. “I refuse to believe he would have been like Dad.”

He shrugs his large shoulders, seeming so much bigger than me in this moment even though we’re evenly matched in size. “Eh, if he wouldn’t have died and kept going down the samepath, I would have beat the shit out of him and made damn sure he didn’t turn into Dad.”

I actually smile at that because I think it’s true. “Guess Dad needed a brother like you.”

He grins and then puts me in a headlock I wasn’t ready for. “Now, go make up with your girl.”

I fight to get out of the headlock, going back to ten-years-old again, but the fucker has a good hold on me. “She’s not mine.”

“Bullshit. She’s been yours since the day you moved in with her.”

I finally get free and push him back as he gives me a grin to let me know he let that happen. “She’s a pain in the ass.”

“Yeah, they all are. Always wanting to fix us, but we help them out too.”

I give a curt nod but feel vulnerable when I look to him for advice. “I don’t want to be like Dad.”

He smiles easily. “You won’t.” He starts to leave, but then turns around, grinning wide. “And if you start to act like him, I'll just beat the living shit out of you.”

“Fucker.”

He laughs and then walks back over to me, I guess needing to say more. “She loves you. Let her. You love her. Let yourself. And don’t fuck it up.”

“What if I do?”

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