Page 71 of Restorations

“I adore all of them. They were all drowning in unimaginable grief and guilt . . .” She lowers her head, her lips ghosting over mine, but she straightens her body again, peering down at me. “But it’s a fact that you were abandoned and left to pick up the pieces.”

“Why are you doing this?” My hand still has her wrist captured, although it’s me who’s the captive in this scenario.

“Because I’m so sorry, Asher.”

“Viv, don’t do this. We just fucked, and we should be on an orgasm high.” My other hand squeezes her hip gently. “I could go for round two.”

I’m deflecting, and I'm begging her to go with it. But, of course, this stubborn fucking woman won’t let that happen. Her breasts press against my chest and our hands between us when she leans back to my lips. “When I left you, I didn’t understand, Asher.”

My eyes darken. “I don’t want to talk about that.”

“But we need to.”

I groan. “Fine. What didn’t you understand when you became just another person to leave me?”

She winces, but she asked for this. And she doesn’t back down. Her lips hover over mine. “That you were in love with me too.”

My chest aches, and I can’t look her in the eyes. “Oh please.”

Her lips drag over mine, but she doesn’t kiss me. “I was shattered. I thought that you didn’t care about me. Maybe I was just young and naïve, but I thought I was going to die, and you seemed fine to me. I thought you’d just moved on. I didn’t see it, Asher.”

“Viv, this is ridiculous.” I want to get up, and I could easily lift her, but it’s her fucking eyes that hold me here when she pulls back enough to look deep into mine.

“You loved me too, but you weren’t ready to admit it, and I left you.”

“Please. Stop.” I’m flat-out begging her. I don’t want to talk about this. That was the worst time in my life, and I don’t want to go back to it.

“Halloween.” I almost gulp as she lays a kiss on my cheek. “The beach.” She kisses my other cheek. “Tonight.” She kisses my lips and whispers against them. “You didn’t fuck me.” She looks up at me, and I swear I can feel her heart beating against mine. “You made love to me.”

I let go of her wrist, gripping her hips with both hands and flip our bodies over so she’s tucked under me. But she looks up at me with fierce determination and no fear. “Was I too gentle?” My hand moves to her throat, but I don’t squeeze it tightly as I wrap my fingers around her slender neck. “Do you want me to choke you? Because I could do that. Or pull your hair?” I lean down, growling, “I know you like that.”

I feel her swallow against my hand, but she’s not scared. “Do whatever you want to me, Asher.” Her eyes flicker with fire. “No matter what it is, it will always be making love with us.”

My heart is thundering in my chest. I can’t seem to catch my breath as I press my lips against hers brutally, and she accepts the kiss. She opens her mouth to let my tongue sweep inside and nips my bottom lip.

It’s not gentle when I enter her again, and she moans my name, digging her nails into my back.

I pull away from her mouth, slamming into her again and again, both of us panting as she wraps her legs around me. “And why is that, Viv?”

She smiles and doesn’t miss a beat, her heels digging into my ass, pulling me deep inside her. “Because we love each other, you asshole.”

I can’t say anything back. All I can do is kiss her fiercely and let her feel she’s not wrong even if she already knows it.

I love her with everything I have.

36

VIVIENNE

I’m still stunned from the intense conversation I had with Asher last night. I didn’t know I had that kind of strength inside me. But it all needed to be said. I’m tired of pretending that I don’t love him. That he doesn’t love me.

He didn’t deny it.

And for now, that’s good enough for me, but there’s still some things left unsaid that I know I need to address before I lose my nerve.

When Baz is asleep and Lola and Hayden have gone to his place for the night, it’s just Asher and me out on the back patio.

“You want to go for a swim?”

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