Page 7 of Restorations

“Fine. It wasn’t for me.”

His gaze is cold, and he folds his arms, still not offering to let me into his room so we can talk.

“I’m sorry.” It’s not easy to say, but it’s something I know I should have said a long time ago.

“You’re sorry?”

His voice is filled with tension, and it makes my stomach ache. “Yes. I’m sorry for the way I left. I shouldn’t have done it that way.”

“You mean with zero warning and ripping Baz away from me with a two second good-bye. Not even giving me a chance to get used to the idea?”

I don’t want to think about that day. I know it was horrible.

“You were torturing me. You wanted to hurt me, Asher.”

Now he laughs, but it is cold and almost vile. “I wanted to hurt you? Are you really that fucking delusional?”

He drops his arms and leaves the doorway. I follow him, closing the door behind me, knowing how heated this could get and not wanting Baz to hear us arguing. “You were punishing me for going out on a date with Sawyer.”

“Punishing you? By fucking you?” His body crowds mine as my back rests against the now closed door. “If you would havetold me to stop, I would have.” His lips curl up, satisfied. “But you never said no. Not once.”

I feel my chest rising at an almost unhealthy rate in reaction to his proximity. I hate how familiar his scent is.

No.

I put my hand up between us and press against his chest, pushing him away from me to give myself room to think.

“You weren’t interested in a relationship with me. I wanted you, and you didn’t want me. So I found someone else.”

“My best fucking friend,” he snaps.

“I didn’t think you would care.”

He looks angry and confused as he glares at me. “How the fuck did you think that would be okay? There’s a code you don’t fuck with.”

“If we had been dating and you were in love with me . . .” I point to his chest where his heart beats. And I know the exact rhythm of that heart from the many nights I spent resting on his chest. “But you weren’t. You made it very clear to me and to Sawyer that you weren’t in love with me. That it was just sex. So why the hell did you care so damn much about your friend dating your sex buddy?”

I challenge him, and I can tell he doesn’t like it. His eyes flash with anger, but I don’t care. “It’s still fucked-up.”

“Why?” I raise an eyebrow.

He grits his teeth. “Fine. So, you didn’t feel safe there with me. I would have moved out.” His voice is strained, and I hear the pain in his words. “You could have asked me to move out.”

“I couldn’t be that close to you. I needed space.”

“You took him from me.”

“I’m sorry.” I feel my own anguish, knowing how badly I hurt him. “I thought you’d be okay. I thought it would all be okay.”

“I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem like you.”

“Maybe you don’t know me,” he shoots back, and maybe he’s right. Maybe I never really knew him.

“Ash . . .” I start, but I’m uncertain about what I want to say.

“Stop,” he cuts me off. “I’m not here for you. I’m here for Baz and Baz only. You and Sawyer keep it down, and we’re good.”

---