Page 66 of Restorations

I move my hand to let my fingers brush against the stubble of his cheek, and he grabs my wrist, pulling my hand away as he looks into my eyes. “Are you really okay?”

I let him hold onto me. I don’t want him to let go. “No.”

He drops my wrist, but I move to my knees, kneeling before him as he sits on the cold sand and place my hands on his shoulders.

His gaze is distant as he tries to disconnect. “Are you still in love with me?”

It’s not a question I’m prepared for. It’s one I've all but answered recently, and yet last night, I still had sex with him. I let him inside of my body, knowing full well my heart was 100 percent in it and his was not.

I sweep my lips over his. “Shut up.” It’s a breathy request before I nip at his bottom lip, capturing his full lips with my own and not wanting to let go. I feel his hands tangle in my hair as he kisses me back.

“Viv,” he breathes, sounding nearly in pain.

“Don’t, Asher.” My hands wrap around his neck as I press my chest to his, hoping he can feel my heart, hoping he knows how much I love him. But I’m not stupid. “I’m a big girl, and I know exactly what’s coming, but I can’t stop this.” I bite his bottom lip and kiss him as I whisper softly, “I don’t want to.”

He pulls me onto his lap. We’re breathing hard, the evidence of what we do to each other is between my thighs as I rub against his erection, intertwining in the best possible way. “I can’t lose Baz again.”

“You won’t.”

It’s a promise in the dark night, but when I feel him relax and pull me even closer to him, I know he believes me.

And he should because no matter what, I won’t hurt him again, even if my heart splinters into a million pieces.

33

ASHER

Iwake up in my bed with Viv’s naked body tucked against my side. Neither of us seem to be able to stop this between us.

I’ve never felt so helpless. Knowing I should push her away, but also knowing that I don’t want to.

“I need to get up.” I smile at the sound of her voice. Waking up next to her isn’t a hardship, but I’m afraid to let this feel too good.

“Why?”

“I need to get Baz ready for school.”

I kiss her temple, enjoying her skin against mine too much. “I can do that.”

She smiles up at me but shakes her head. “No, you need to get yourself ready.” Her eyes flicker with wickedness when she purrs, “Mr. Sterling.”

“Fuck, Viv,” I groan, ready to pull her body to mine to quench the fire she just started, but before I can, I hear Baz pushing my door—that I now realize I forgot to lock—open and quickly tuck Viv under my comforter and roll to my side as she hides.

“Uncle Asher!” Baz comes to my side of the bed. “Mommy isn’t in her room.”

I hate lying to him. “She’s not?”

He shakes his head. “She’s supposed to get me ready for school! I don’t want to be late.”

He loves school so damn much. I lean back, angling my body, hoping to block the body next to me. “She’s probably in the kitchen making your breakfast, buddy.”

He places his finger on his chin, “Hmmm . . . I didn’t check there.”

Relief washes over me even though I feel like shit for lying to him. “I’ll get you dressed for school, but first go hide and I'll find you.”

“Do we have time?” His eyes flash with excitement. He loves to play hide and seek.

I shrug my shoulders. “I’m pretty good at finding you.”

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