Page 25 of Restorations

“I don’t have to do that. You may think he’s your replacement, Asher, but nothing of yours has ever been on my mind when I’m with Sawyer.

She climbs out and wraps a towel around her, moving closer to me. I try to ignore her sweet scent.

“When I come with him, it’shisname on my lips.” She pushes past me, and I feel fucking sick to my stomach.

I move to the counter in the bathroom, planting my hands in front of me and staring in the mirror as she goes into her bedroom.

He can have her.

12

VIVIENNE

Ifeel sick. Like I might actually puke as Asher flees from my room, slamming the door behind him.

How can he say those things to me?

He really thinks that I just used him for a cheap thrill. That I didn’t really love him? He infuriates me. Telling me to have Sawyer finish me off next time.

Asshole.

I shouldn’t have done this. I should have just stuck to Sawyer because he doesn't try to hurt me. He isn’t vengeful and cruel. He’s been only kind and upfront. He at least tried to date me and see if there were any real feelings before running away scared.

Asher was petrified from the very beginning.

I’m so confused and angry. Something I thought would disappear when I left Kansas but has only multiplied.

But was Asher right? Is it the thrill I'm chasing?

Sawyer gets my heart racing too, just in a different way. Though I can’t deny the way Asher makes me feel. My entire body had an electric charge, and it was almost like muscle memory. My body knew exactly what to do to elicit the most pleasure from him without a hint of an actual touch.

The physical attraction between us is effortless, but everything else is mind-numbingly difficult.

I sit on my bed and sob now that he’s gone but keep myself quiet. I don’t want him to hear me. I don’t want to give him that satisfaction.

I have no idea how things got so screwed up.

He wouldn’t even touch me. I’m surprised he would even look at me. Without a doubt, he hates me.

And maybe I hate him too. I shouldn’t play dirty. I shouldn’t take the bait when he brings up Sawyer, but I couldn’t stop myself. I won’t be a doormat. But I don’t want to hurt him either.

I wipe my face when I hear my phone buzz and rise from my bed to grab it from my dresser. I smile when I see the picture Sawyer sent of Baz with a breakfast burrito in his hand.

Why can’t Sawyer and I be in love with each other? It would be so much easier.

I send a few heart emojis back to him and then get dressed. I walk cautiously out of my room and to the kitchen, relieved the only Sterling in here is Lola.

She’s sitting at the table going over something on her phone when her eyes lift and she smiles at me. “Morning.”

Wow, itisstill morning. What a start to the day.

“Good morning.”

Oh no, Lola picks up on everything, and I can feel her gaze on me as I head for the coffee. “Are you okay?”

I nod, trying to plaster a fake smile on my face before turning to face her. “Of course.”

She stands up, walking closer to me, and I hope my hair and the higher collar of my blouse hide the hickeys on my neck. “Are you sure? You seem off today. Did Asher do something?”

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