Page 13 of Restorations

“They aren’t dating, you know?”

I don’t want to talk. I want to lay in the sun and ignore the world. “I don’t care. I didn’t ask.”

“Well, they aren’t.”

Fuck, Linc. When the hell did he get so chatty? “It sure seems like they are. Considering all the dating they’re doing.”

“They aren’t committed. Not at all. He said she doesn’t want a relationship, and he doesn’t either.”

What the fuck? Why?It makes no sense at all. They were all ready to move out here and date. Then, fucking what? They decided . . .nah?

“I didn’t ask, Linc. Why are you telling me this?”

He sits up and looks directly at me. “Because you should know if you still want her, you still have a chance.”

I fight the laugh and roll my eyes. “I never wanted a chance with her in the first place. That’s why she moved on to Sawyer.” My shoulder lifts. “Although, I guess he didn’t cut it.”

“You’re such an asshole.”

Well, if that isn’t the pot calling the kettle black. I stare at him, and he shakes his head, laughing.

“For whatever reason, they didn’t work out the way they thought they would. And you can tell yourself you don’t want her all you want, but I saw the way you looked at her at my wedding. I saw the torment in your eyes after Hayden hit you, and it wasn’t because of your swollen face.”

“Linc, drop it.”

“Fine. I know for a fact that Colt would want us all to be happy, and we’re getting there. It doesn’t mean we don’t wish hewas here too. But we can’t just sit around waiting to die, living a miserable existence.”

I sit up and face him. “I can’t turn into Dad.”

He doesn’t say anything for a moment. Then his hands grab my head, and he forces me to look at him, really look at him. “You are not Dad. None of us are. You also aren’t me.”

I swallow tightly, wanting to look away but his hands hold me in place. I’ve struggled for so long to find my place in the world. When Viv left, and my entire family was here, and Colt was long gone, I thought maybe I would. But I’d never been more lost.

I went back into my old ways of getting fucked-up, of finding solace in warm bodies who didn’t know or care to know my name. Drinking and fucking my way into a downward spiral. I wanted Colt back. I wanted to feel carefree again.

Nothing worked.

“If I ended up with Viv, I would be.”

“Bullshit. You’re stronger than our fucked-up genes. It’s a choice how we end up. And once you get that, everything will be clear. Dad chose to be miserable. He chose to cheat and be a shitty husband and father. It is a choice.”

“What if I'm not strong enough to make the right choice?”

“You are. You’re Asher Sterling. Linc, Lola, and Colt’s little brother, but you’re so much more than that and always have been.”

“You’re really fucking up my high.” I should say something better than that. Thank you would be good, but that’s all that will come out of my mouth.

He smiles, releases me, and ruffles my hair before shoving my chest back. “You’re welcome.”

Fuck.

I don’t want to feel good. I don’t want him to have said exactly what I needed to hear for so long.

But damn if he didn’t do just that.

7

ASHER

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