Page 10 of There Are No Words

I turned to him fully, pulling the seat belt away from my neck as I did. “You know, I like the way you think, Dom. If I’m pregnant, there’s no telling that we’ll be stuck together.” A smile formed on my lips the more I thought about it. Who was to say that Brady was going to stick around? A lot of men didn’t, right? “There’s a chance he won’t want to be a father.”

“Not exactly what I was saying.”

“No, no, it’s good. I don’t think Brady’s my soulmate.” I shook my head. “I can feel he’s not my soulmate.” I always figured if I met my soulmate, I’d just know, and I didn’t have that feeling with Brady. I mean, he was hot, don’t get me wrong, but a guy like him didn’t end up with a girl like me. I knew he’d never met anyone like me. I wastoodifferent for someone like him. Sure, he’d slept with me, but that was not the same thing as settling down with me, having a child, and building a life with me. “It’s okay. If I’m pregnant, I might just be a single mom. That’s cool, right? Better than being with someone I’m not meant to be with.”

Translation: better than being with someone who’s only going to break my heart. How was I so sure of that? It’d happened before. I wasn’t like other women, and sure, I was like a shiny new toy at first. But, after a while, men grew tired of me and how different I was. I couldn’t change who I was. Scratch that. Iwouldn’tchange who I was. And, bottom line, in the long run, men didn’t like that. They’d dropped me quicker than a hot potato. That was how I could be so sure we weren’t meant to be, weren’t soulmates.

I supposed I’d come to terms with the reality that I could never make a man like Brady happy. Not forever, anyway.

“Didn’t you two sleep together?” Dom asked.

What did that matter? Since when was it a requirement to be soulmates with the person you had sex with? If that were the case, half of the population would be in a dry spell because, hello, soulmates weren’t hidden at the bottom of cereal boxes. He turned to look at me for a split second, and I gave him a so-what expression. “Sex doesn’t mean he’s my destiny. If anyone were to understand that, I’d think it’d be you.”

He cocked a brow. “Just give him a chance, that’s all I’m saying. Have your facts, talk to the guy, and go from there. Baby steps.”

Baby steps? I groaned. Dom had to say the B-word. “Dom,” I warned.

He chuckled. “Sorry, small steps.”

Better.I nodded and looked out the window again. “Can you take me back to my apartment? I’ll get my car from Maria’s another time.”

Chapter Four

Allegra

So my ob-gyndidn’t want to see me, wouldn’t put me out of my misery.

“Wait until the second month,” the receptionist insisted. Ugh. Maybe I needed a new doctor.Don’t they know I need confirmation?

But with my age and health, they said it was normal that I wait. In other words, they wouldn’t help me until I was due for my first prenatal appointment.

It would have been great to hear about my baby from a medical professional, but since they weren’t helping, I decided to go another route and visit my psychic.

Yes, I had a psychic—she even read tarot cards. I also had an astrologer and a medium.

Was I religious? Sure. I was just about as Catholic as the next New York Italian, but I was also a universe-loving girl. Maybe that was incompatible with my faith, but it always made me feel closer to God, not more disconnected. My sisters certainly didn’t get it, but it gave me even more peace. And let’s just say that after losing Mom, I needed all the peace I could get, hence the addition of a medium to my contacts.

The point was, I needed to see my psychic. I needed to know what she knew about this pregnancy. Then I would be able to relax and do the next logical thing—talk to Brady.

I drove the distance to the Upper East Side where Veronica worked and waited to meet with her. Just sitting in the space made me feel more at ease. Everything about the way Veronicadesigned the atmosphere made it that way. The walls were lavender, the beige carpet was soft beneath my feet—yes, I could tell even with shoes on—and the violet velvet chair I was sitting on was heavenly. And she always burned lavender incense.

It was so quiet the only sound that filled my ears was theticktockof the clock.

I played with the straps of my handbag as I waited for Veronica.

Tick. My whole life was going to change.

Tock. I would need to move into a bigger place, right?

Tick. Why were condoms so useless?

Tock. I needed to remember that some things were out of my control.

Tick. This was one of those things.

Veronica pulled back the curtain to where she gave readings, and an elderly man walked out with her on his heels. As was usual, she had her long, red, curly hair piled atop her head. On her body hung a patterned maxi dress and the most jewelry I’d ever seen—necklaces of varying lengths, bracelets, and rings.

After she bid her previous client farewell, she greeted me, saying, “Allie.” Her green eyes connected with mine. “Good to see you. Do you—”

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