Page 90 of There Are No Words

Brady backed off and extended a hand to help me up. “We have way too much fun in this office,” I threw over my shoulder as I walked in before him.

* * *

I stared at Brady in the driver’s seat, watching as he drove. Don’t judge, sometimes I liked to just look at him.

He had been such a constant in my life. Yes, he’d been there with me from the start of this pregnancy. But it was more than that, really. If you thought about it, he was always around, there to help me, spending time with me, talking to me about my day, making me breakfast and dinner.

How many people got to say that?

How many people got so lucky as to say they had someone like that in their lives?

Sure, I had my sisters and my dad, but besides them, besides my family, there wasn’t really anyone. No one that I could call on in a moment’s notice, and they’d come, no questions asked.

Maria had Dom. She also had Isabella, who would grow up to be Maria’s best friend, we all knew it.

Perla had Frankie. Yes, occasionally he traveled for work, and she got annoyed because she missed him. But if she needed him—like really, really needed him—he’d be there. Always.

Bianca. Geez, I hated to even think this, but I didn’t think any of us thought Bianca would find a man. She’d been so closed off, so afraid to lose something before she even had it to begin with. But she had Knox. He was her soulmate, to be honest.

I cleared my throat delicately and put my face in my phone so that Brady wouldn’t catch me staring. Maybe he’d already caught me, but he hadn’t said anything. Either way, I looked away.

I typed a quick text to my sisters.

Allegra:I think Brady would go to war for me.

Perla:That’s a beautiful thing.

Maria:It doesn’t get much better than that.

Bianca:I told you he was one of the good guys. I have a great read on people.

Maria:What makes you say that now, though?

Allegra:Sometimes it feels like I’m standing in the way of my own happiness.

Perla:Explain.

Allegra:Do you know I haven’t even started nesting? I want to, but every time I think about it, everything becomes so much more real. I could end up sharing custody with Brady, you know, if we don’t last.

Allegra:I don’t even know what we are right now.

Bianca:You don’t need to put a label on it.

Allegra:He’s more than a fuck buddy. We have a great time together, and I really care about him. I know he cares about me. It’s just, I don’t know.

Maria:It sounds like you need to ask yourself if it’s worth pushing Brady away and closing yourself off for a what-if, some unknown that might not even happen.

Perla:Do you trust him enough not to break your heart?

Allegra:They always do. Men always let me down.

Bianca:Not all men are bad. Hello, look at Knox, Frankie, and Dom, for crying out loud. Sure, they aren’t perfect, but they’re decent humans, and that’s really all you can ask for. You’re not perfect, either.

Allegra:I don’t need him to tell me what everyone else has—that I’m not their type, that I’m no one’s type. Hearing it from him might actually crush me.

Maria:And you need to ask yourself why. Why would him saying that hurt so badly? How is he different from everyone else?

Allegra:He’s the father of my baby.

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