Page 77 of There Are No Words

I nodded. Why was she shocked by this? I thought the way Allegra approached things and her unique outlook on life was interesting. Quite frankly, I thought more people should be like her. Did that mean I was going to go out and buy a star or subscribe to a horoscope newsletter or some shit? No. But I’d be down to learn and understand those things if it made her happy. Did you see where I was going with this? Basically, I just wanted to see Allegra’s glowing smile. It wasn’t that complicated.

Happy Allegra = happy Brady.

“The fact that you’re shocked by my willing participation is borderline concerning. Why the skepticism?” I questioned.

She played with her fingers, her eyes darting off to the side. Shrugging, she answered, “I know it’s weird. I mean, I know you probably think it’s weird. Everyone else I’ve ever spoken to about it, especially men I’ve dated, has thought it’s bizarre. Incase you haven’t noticed, I can be a little. . .” She paused as though trying to search for the right word.

She should have just asked me for help, though. I knew exactly how to fill in that blank. She could be a little. . .

Amazing.

Captivating.

Perfect.

Yeah, I liked that one best—perfect. Allegra was perfect. Sorry to those of you who didn’t believe anyone could be perfect because Allegra achieved perfection as far as I was concerned. And, frankly, mine was the only opinion that mattered.

The sun rose and set with Allegra Morelli. Period. End of story.

“Freaky,” Allegra said, finally.

Wrong.I shook my head, unwilling to hear another second of her degrading herself. I leaned forward and grabbed her hands in mine, bringing them to my lips and kissing her knuckles. “I’d match your freaky any day of the week.”

She cocked a brow.

Damn it, Allegra, what aren’t you understanding?

“If that’s not enough, then know this: you’re not like anyone I’ve ever met, and thank God for that because normal is common and common is boring.”

The corners of her lips itched to curl upward, I could tell, but she was stopping herself. I didn’t know what it was going to take to get it through her thick skull that I didn’t give a shit about her love for astrology or spiritual crap. I wanted to be with her. Her beliefs were sort of a package deal, and that was what happened when you liked someone, when you wanted to be with them, right? You got all of it, the good, the bad, and everything in between. I wanted all of that with her.

* * *

Allegra

Ugh! I was frustrating myself at this point. How was it Brady didn’t want to pull his hair out?

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t swallow my fears and hope for the best.

I wished I could. Trust me.

I wanted to.

But I was headstrong, like the rest of my sisters. We’d gotten it from our mother. Still to this day Dad said that she had been asgabadostas they came.

And it wasn’t like my heart hadn’t practically melted when Brady had said what he had about me. It was really nice to hear, actually. But unfortunately, words were just that—words.

That didn’t mean Brady didn’t have all of me, because he did. At this point, he had ingratiated himself into every aspect of my life, and I’d welcomed him with open arms because I cared about him. A lot.

I just couldn’t let all my walls down. Then I’d be my most vulnerable, and he’d have an opportunity to shatter my heart into a million tiny pieces that could never be made whole again.

I sniffled and pointed to the door. “Well, I should probably be getting to work,” I said, being the first one to break the silence that filled (read: clouded) the air.

He brought his hand to his chin and scratched. “Yeah. I’ll clean up here.”

I wanted to kick myself. I was an idiot. Again. It felt like that was all I was around this man.

The problem was, I was slightly broken. I’d been beaten down by the unfortunate realities of the world—different wasn’t accepted, and it probably never would be.

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