Page 57 of There Are No Words

I mean, I always had the option of hiding myself from them. But that seemed stupid and, quite frankly, pointless. So I supposed lately I’d preferred to make the decision for them and just not let them in to start with.

That’d been exactly what I’d done with Brady.

But what if I was right? What if he grew bored of me? Or hated me?

What would that do to our daughter?

What would that do to me?

If I never took a chance, though, what then, I wondered. Wouldn’t that be worse? Maybe I’d been so fixated on my fears and stuck on my past relationship fails that I hadn’t consideredthe new beginnings that awaited me. Irony that it was, the middle card was more appropriate than I even realized because, in this scenario, I thought I might’ve been a fool.

So, if I gave myself to Brady the way he was asking, could there be huge potential there like the third card suggested? And I wasn’t just thinking potential for heartbreak, but for a real connection. All I had to do was give my energy to that.

Could I do it? Could I succumb to Brady and see where things went, to embrace our present and future and let go of my past?

And if so, how in the hell was I going to do that? Because there was no way he was going to just believe me when I told him I suddenly changed my mind when I was hell-bent against it for so long.

Chapter Nineteen

Allegra

Before you asked,no, I hadn’t figured out what to do about Brady and letting go of my fears yet. But what I had done was manage to convince Brady that I liked him sleeping in the same bed as me. So we’d been doing that. After that first night, I realized it was nice having his company. Especially when I felt nauseous and wanted to throw up. Which was getting better by the way.

Oh, and I’d convinced all three of my sisters that us going to find Jade together was a good idea. My powers of persuasion were really getting a workout these days.

Anyway, today was the day. The day we’d—hopefully—meet our half sister. So I was currently sitting in the passenger seat of Maria’s SUV while she drove all of us to the Bronx. Parkchester, to be exact. Maria was taking it slow, though, which was no surprise—I think it was safe to say she was in no rush to meet Jade. Today there were so many tourists, bikers, and joggers out doing their thing.

Dad’s file said Jade lived in an iconic building. I could only imagine what she was like. By way of social media, Jade had none. Like not a single account. It was almost as if she didn’t want to be found. By anyone. To me, a social media lover (hello, it was my job), it was weird, but I knew some people were like that—private and whatnot.

My phone chimed with a notification and I went to see who texted me. I was surprised to see it was my sister, who was in the car with me. . . .

Bianca:I can’t believe we’re doing this. I’d blame the pregnancy hormones, but we both know Allie would have done this pregnant or not.

Allegra:What’s so wrong with me wanting to meet our half sister?

Bianca gasped, and I spun my head around. Her eyes widened, and she swatted Perla’s arm.

Perla nursed her arm, rubbing the spot. “Hey! What was that for?”

Bianca eyed her seriously. “I was trying to text you, but instead I texted Allie.”

Perla rolled her eyes. “Then it seems like you should be hitting yourself.” She swatted Bianca’s arm, looking pleased with herself, and faced forward.

I chuckled, turning my head back to the front window.

Maria looked back at them before turning back to the road. “What’s going on back there? You’re rowdier than Isabella and her friends.”

I figured I’d help, explaining, “Bibi thinks I’m bat-crap-crazy.”

Bianca leaned forward and shook her head fervently. “No. No. That’s not necessarily true. Okay, well, maybe a little. We are literally going to see a stranger, and she has no knowledge of us. Or us coming.”

Perla giggled. “True. It’s almost unfair because we have a leg up—we know who she is.”

Maria shook her head back and forth.

“Oh, not you, too!” I practically shrieked at Maria.

“I’m sorry,” Maria responded. “But it is a little peculiar. If I were Jade, I wouldn’t even answer the door. Four complete strangers approaching her at her apartment?”

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