Page 56 of There Are No Words

Perla:Pot meet kettle.

Bianca:She’s referring to Dom, by the way.

Maria:I got that. You guys are not subtle.

Allegra:Got to run. It looks like it’s my turn. Bye!

“Allie,” Veronica said, calling me to the back. “I’m ready for you now.”

We sat down at the old wooden table, her tarot cards stacked to one side. “We’re doing a tarot card reading today, right?”

I nodded. “Please.”

“Then let’s begin.” Veronica pushed her hair back and put her glasses on, her bracelets clacking with each motion.

She shuffled the cards and spread all seventy-eight of them out on the table before me. I leaned forward and watched Veronica as she let her intuition guide her, pulling and flipping over three cards, each one in turn.

I’d done this enough times to know she chose three with the intention of me gaining insight into my past, present, and future. Which I needed. Now more than ever.

And with my new situation, I believed the selected cards would be relevant to the here and now.

I looked at the cards as she tapped the first one. “Your origin card,” she started and closed her eyes, letting her finger trace the edge of it. “The Two of Swords. You’ve been confused or indecisive recently. You have a decision to make that is scary or difficult.”

I nodded, seeing the truth in it. “My baby’s father wants us to be a couple,” I confessed.

She turned her attention to the middle card. The Fool. I already knew what that meant. I’d had it drawn before. “The Fool. New beginnings lie ahead,” she said and smiled, looking at my belly and nodding. Then she tapped the third card in the line up, the trajectory card, which was always a bit of a suggestion. “This one is the Ace of Cups,” she said, reading it. “There’s huge potential within you, and you have this sort of emotional energy, maybe a deep romantic connection, and you need to decide where you want to put it.”

I sat back and sighed. “Exactly what I’d feared.”

Veronica wiggled her fingers, looking for me to take her hands. “Allie, my dear, you hold within you all the answers. What you need to decide is what’s right for you and your baby girl.”

Gasping, I covered my mouth with a hand. “How’d you know?”

“Why, the Ace of Cups,” she said and winked. “And you’re carrying your baby weight like only a woman pregnant with a girl does.”

Laughing, I stood up. “Thank you. I think I took up enough of your time. I appreciate you squeezing me in like this.”

“Are you going back to the office?”

“I am,” I said and hung my purse strap from my shoulder. “Really, Veronica, thank you. I have a lot to think about.”

She followed me out as she agreed, saying, “That you do.”

I grabbed a taxi to theBellissimaoffice and the whole drive over, all I could do was think about my reading. I had been confused lately. Brady was making me confused. All his talk of wanting to be together and carrying his baby, I was a mess and not sure what I wanted anymore. I mean, I knew I wanted Brady, but enough to let go? To let go of all my fears that we weren’t compatible?

I didn’t want history to repeat itself. If I hadn’t been down this road before, then it’d be one thing, but I had, and the scars (though not physical) may as well have been those from a four-hundred degree oven. I was afraid to go there again.

And every time I thought about it, my mind reeled with the same thoughts it always had:

Things never worked out.

Men grew tired of me.

They grew tired of my fascination with astrology, zodiacs, and things like tarot card readings.

I felt like I was always given options—change who I was or wind up alone.

I supposed by not wanting to change, I chose the latter by default.

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