Page 34 of There Are No Words

“How do you have that much sass in you at this ungodly hour? Most people can’t even form a coherent sentence.”

I put my head in my hands and leaned down as I sat on the top of the toilet seat, waiting for another bout of nausea to course through me so I could open the lid and slip down to the floor for the hundredth time tonight. “Lucky me, I’ve been up for so long that not only can I form a coherent sentence, but I can do jumping jacks while reciting my multiplication tables.”

“Really?”

I shot my head up to look at him and watched as he uncrossed his arms. “I don’t mean to be keeping you up. You should go back to bed. I’ll try to keep the noise down.”

Smirking casually, he said, “Allegra, you can be as loud as you want whenever you want.”

Why was it that everything that rolled off this man’s tongue sounded sexual? Because, let’s face it, the way he’d said that, he definitely wasn’t just talking about retching or even throwing up, but I chose to ignore it. I couldn’t even think about having sex. I felt not the least bit sexy right now, and something told me that was a feeling that would not only continue, but get worse as I got further along in this pregnancy.

He made strides to walk over to me and placed his hands on either side of my shoulders. “What can I do to make this better?”

I ran my hands through my rat’s nest of bedhead and sighed. We were roommates, so he’d seen me roll out of bed before looking like this, but, for some reason, knowing that he’d seen me naked and felt my thighs clench around him made me feel weird about the whole thing. “Leave. I don’t want you to see me like this,” I spoke earnestly.

Too bad he didn’t seem to care what I had to say. “You think I give a damn how you look? You’re still beautiful, even when you have your head in a toilet.”

I arched a brow. “You still have game at this hour.”

“This ungodly hour,” he corrected before winking. “And, Allegra, I always have game. Doesn’t matter the time of day.”

I was about to respond when my stomach roiled, and I clutched it while simultaneously getting up and opening the lid. I bent down and felt Brady’s fingers graze my skin as he pulled back my hair.

Nothing came of it. It was just more dry heaving. But it was nice that Brady was here with me. To know that he cared enough to stick around for the nasty, too.

I slid down when I was done, and my throat burned. I no longer cared about what Brady thought of me. Pajamas and all, I sat down on the bathroom floor and leaned my cheek against the side of the cold porcelain. “I thought I was strong, but if this has taught me anything, it’s that I’m not.” Never in a million years did I think I’d say that. I didn’t know where it came from, but the next thing I knew, tears started rolling down my cheeks, burning my skin as they did.

Brady shushed me and brought the pads of his thumbs to my cheeks, wiping them away before they hit my lip and I tasted the salt, symbolizing my moment of vulnerability. He stared into my eyes like he was searching for something, what that was exactly I didn’t have the slightest clue. “What you’re going through is not easy, and I can’t say I wouldn’t feel the same if I were in your shoes, but don’t ever doubt how strong you are. Because you, Allegra Morelli, are so fucking strong.”

Tears welled in my eyes as I took in his words. Was this what it felt like to be seen? I couldn’t help the smile that came over my face. I must have done something right in my life to have crossed paths with Brady Moore and be carrying his child.

This beautiful man was crouched down on a bathroom floor after holding back my hair and wiping away my tears. He could easily have any woman in the world, and he’d chosen to spend this night here with me. He’d chosen to spend most of his time with me since finding out I was pregnant. Me. His roommate who liked to talk about horoscopes and call on her psychic and have tarot cards read.

Cue the fireworks, you guys, because I felt like my heart was about to explode out of my chest. “Thank you for saying that,” I responded softly, the words filling the small area.

I never thought a man would look at me the way Brady did—with acceptance, understanding, and respect in his eyes. While it was everything I’d always wanted, it was almost unnerving because I knew it wouldn’t be mine forever. Brady wasn’t mine. This was a passing fancy. Just like always. It was worse than a placebo because I didn’t feel better, I almost felt worse. I supposed I should’ve been grateful, though, because for someone like me, this was the best I’d ever get from someone like him.

“I meant every word,” he assured as he laced our fingers together and then kissed the top of my hand.

* * *

Brady

I wasn’t old, so why did it feel like that when I got little to no sleep? I was supposed to be wide awake when I went to work, but I found my eyes fighting me, wanting to close at every turn.

I was in my office going over inventory numbers that were making my damn head throb when there was a knock on the door. This time I knew without a doubt it wasn’t Allegra. Any hope I had of her coming back to The Black Sheep and asking for a repeat performance was shot straight into oblivion when she’d told me the pregnancy test had come back positive. Who knew one stupid symbol could change everything? Technically, it changed nothing for me. I still wanted to be with Allegra, period. I couldn’t fucking wait to see her bump grow, knowing my baby was inside of her, growing, too.

“Come in!” I finally shouted. I leaned back so much that the chair moved back as well.

Jack came in and closed the door behind him. “Holy cow! You look like you got hit by a car and then another came along and drove right over you.”

I moved my neck from side-to-side and willed it to crack. Luckily, it did. Twice.

“Basically, you look like hell,” Jack proceeded to insult me.

I narrowed my eyes. “You done now?”

He nodded and took a seat in one of the chairs across from me, getting comfortable as he placed one of his legs over his other knee, holding his ankle with his hand. “Guess I am. What happened to you?”

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