Page 19 of There Are No Words

Felt like too little, too late, but what did I know?

“Someone will be in in a few minutes to do your ultrasound. You can get dressed if you want.” He walked out and took his shadow of a nurse with him. It was mildly creepy; she didn’t say anything, just stood behind the doctor and followed him around like a puppy dog.

Allegra took her feet out of the stirrups. “Pass me my underwear, please.”

I turned around to where her purse was sitting on a chair and found the string she called underwear balled up in the side pocket. “Shouldn’t you wear real underwear here? Or anywhere, now that you’re carrying our child?” I held them in my hand,fingering the small piece of satin in the front. There was nothing to finger in the back, it was thinner than the floss I used for my teeth. Shit, I wondered if my hand would smell like her now. Why had I insisted on coming to this appointment?

She yanked them from my hand. “What is with you?” she asked, bewilderment coloring her expression.

“I’m just thinking you might cause our baby to catch a cold with all the air that goes up those skirts of yours and that,” I explained and pointed to her thong as she slipped it up. Don’t get me wrong, I was a warm-blooded man—I was a big fan of skirts and dresses because they allowed easy access for a quickie in an elevator, bathroom stall, or, frankly, anywhere sex wasn’t intended but happened anyway.

“Sure, I’ll wear long johns just for you.” She rolled her eyes dramatically, and I honestly feared they might roll in the back of her head and never reappear. “You know, you’ve lost your mind. Maybe when I’m getting the ultrasound you can let them do their job.”

Let them do their job. . . . As though I hadn’t let Dr. Invasive do his job earlier. I hadn’t been a fan of what he’d been doing, but that was neither here nor there. It wasn’t like I had sucker punched him and demanded he get out of there.

I passed her the skirt that was folded on the chair beside her purse next. Usually, I helped women take off their clothes, and look at me, I’d found out I was going to be a father and I was helping Allegra—the girl of my goddamn dreams—put her clothesbackon. Yeah, there was definitely something wrong with this picture. Beginning and ending with the fact that I had been in this office for way too long.

“Will the technician be a man?” I asked pointedly.

She rolled her eyes and slipped up her skirt. “I don’t know. This is my first ultrasound.”

“Will they be going to the promised land?”

Exhaling deeply, she looked away from me, diverting her attention to a wall of pamphlets. So I supposed I was going to be ignored.Great.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit strange to have a male doctor?” I asked, unable to resist and just keep my mouth shut. Which I should’ve done, but I just couldn’t.

She turned to eye me again and parted her perfectly shaped, plump, red-painted lips. Before we’d kissed, I’d always wondered what those lips tasted like, jealous of every man who’d had the pleasure of knowing. Now I knew what they tasted like, and it was arguably worse. Finally, she smacked her lips and shook her head. “Because he’s looking at my vagina?”

“No.” I rolled on my heels and shrugged. She made it sound so blasé. “I don’t know. I mean, what’s with that? Don’t you find that weird? Plus, I don’t like the way he was looking at you when he held your knee. He just kept staring at you.”

“He was waiting for me to be ready for him.”

“Shit, Allegra. Don’t say that.”

“Come on, Brady. It wasn’t like he was sayingnow on your back and spread your legs for me like a good girl. You’re reading way too much into this. He’s married, you’re ridiculous, and this conversation is over.”

I didn’t think I was ridiculous. And if I was, then I thought she wasn’t being ridiculous enough. She had to have known that even doctors could be creepers, right? But clearly, I wasn’t going to get anywhere with her on this one, so I finally shut my mouth.

“Pass me that one,” she said and pointed a pink-painted fingernail at the wall of pamphlets.

My gaze followed her finger, and I did as asked, then perused the others for myself when she was quietly reviewing it.

After a few seconds of silence, she gasped and shoved it back at me. “Damn it, Brady. Take this back. Everything in here is absolutely appalling,” Allegra said, her face looking bothdisgusted and perplexed. Her mouth formed an O as she leaned forward ever so slightly on the table she was sitting on again. “My vagina is going to be stretched out for a watermelon to shoot through it. Do you know what that means?”

“That it’ll hurt less when you take a big one inside you?” Not that I wanted to think about that. Unless it was me she was taking, then it was fine. Better than fine. Okay, the point was. . . “As for the horrified look on your face, you’re the one who told me to pass it to you. I just did as I was asked.” Not that I understood why Allegra wanted to read any of the pamphlets they had in this office on what might happen to her body during childbirth. I mean, that was months from now, and everyone’s body was different, right? Plus, all this stuff made it look gross. I thought childbirth was supposed to be a beautiful miracle.

“Ugh,” she groaned, disgusted again, as she rolled her eyes. “I’m going to choose to be optimistic and say that this baby is only going to make my life better. And any changes to my body will only be a reflection of the beauty of my body going through this.”

“That’s the spirit.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Don’t be passive-aggressive with me. Maybe it’s not beautiful, but you know what is? Stronger orgasms, which happens to many women who have sex during pregnancy. That could be me.” She hitched a brow and looked at me intently.

Oh, I didn’t like the thought of that one bit. I mean, sure, again, if it was with me. But anyone else? No way. I didn’t want some other man violating my baby like that, but I was a smart enough man to know now wasn’t the time to broach that subject. “Point made.” I leaned over and swiped a strand of hair out of her face. As I did, her eyes met mine and it was like I couldn’t look away, didn’t want to. I cleared my throat and forced myselfto do so, though, as I simultaneously stuffed my hands in my pockets. Meanwhile, the ultrasound tech walked in.

“Momma Morelli. I understand we’re doing your first ultrasound today. Are you ready? How about you? Are you ready to see your baby, Papa?”

I nodded. At least the tech was a woman, and she had acknowledged me. Things were looking up for this part of the appointment. Then she put away the stirrups and extended the table for Allegra to lie back.

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