Page 18 of There Are No Words

“Well, they’re all good. I just don’t know if you want to look for a new doctor after this,” Brady said, bringing up a valid point. Wouldn’t want to piss off the man who’d control the drugs during my delivery.

If I asked all these questions, there was no doubt the doctor would probably ban me from being his patient. What was my sister thinking? In her defense, though, she did have a great pregnancy with Isabella. That had to count for something.

Getting back to the task at hand, I asked the first question—“Are there any dietary restrictions or recommendations you have?”

Brady swayed his head back and forth. “Seems important. You should know what to eat and what not to.”

“I feel like I can just look that up,” I answered earnestly. There were medical articles that cited doctors on this stuff, right? One quick search and I’d be good to go.

“It’s not the same.” Okay, clearly, we didn’t see eye-to-eye on this. “You need a professional to tell you. The Internet is unreliable.”

If it wasn’t already obvious, Brady and I were so incompatible it wasn’t even funny. Just listen to him. I wasn’t going to argue with him, though. It seemed pointless. I’d just ask the question to appease him. “All right. Next one. Is exercise okay?”

“Seems obvious. Walking is always okay. We can even get you a walking pad for your office.”

“Um, no.”

“Um, no?” he returned, looking confused.

“Yeah, no. I don’t want that.”

“And why the hell not?”

“Because—”

“Allegra Morelli.” The nurse’s voice startled me.

Was I hearing things, or did I finally hear my name called? Thank the heavens, it was officially my turn. Technically, it was twenty minutes after my appointment time, but I couldn’t fault her for that. Maybe some other patient came in with an obnoxious list like Maria’s and made the terrible decision to ask them all.

* * *

Brady

This prenatal appointment was as non-invasive as a prostate biopsy, and by that, I meant it couldn’t get any more invasive. Honestly, the myriad of crap Allegra was having done to her during this appointment was surprising.

After she emptied her bladder, she was happy as a pig in shit, but then they drew her blood and we went through each of our family’s medical histories, and examined her. But none of that was a big deal. No, the big deal came when her doctor (a man, might I add) gloved up, grabbed a long swab thing from his station, and wheeled over to Allegra in his stupid chair. “I’m just going to take a quick pap smear and send it off to the lab.”

“Sure,” Allegra said as if it was the most normal thing in the world. Although, to her, it probably was.

I couldn’t stop myself, though. “Wait a minute. That’s it?” All she was going to say was “sure”? And the doctor didn’t have anything else to add?

The doctor smirked, his bald head practically shining from the glare in the office. He obviously couldn’t grow hair on his head, but the big, black mountain man beard on his face was no trouble at all. “Well, I was going to ask if you’ve had intercourse in the last two days,” he said, ignoring me and looking at Allegra over the paper draped over her knees.

How the hell was that relevant? See, this was exactly why I didn’t want Allegra to have a male doctor. Ladies, you’d never hear a man say this, so listen carefully because I’d only say it once—men had zero boundaries. There were some good men, of course, who were the exception to this rule. Like me, obviously. But then that was it.

Weaving her fingers together over her stomach, she answered casually, “No intercourse. Not since this one knocked me up.”

I squared my shoulders and puffed my chest. How’d you like that, you sleazy doctor? I was the one who impregnated her. Woah, why was I bragging about that? I’d also made myself a soon-to-be dad. If being a jackass was a sport, I’d take home gold.

“Okay,” Dr. Invasive (that was right, I was referring to him as Dr. Invasive from now on) responded coolly and went under the paper drape.

I didn’t like the way this man just went for it. Did he have no manners? “Care to tell us what you’re doing down there, Doc?”

Allegra shot me a look. “He said he’s taking a pap smear. What’s your problem?”

I swore, if she could’ve hissed at me, she would’ve. I hadn’t seen this side of her before. Couldn’t say I hated it.

Dr. Invasive said nothing, just lifted his head seconds later, dropped the swab in a metal pan, and slipped his gloves off. “It’s all routine to check the cervix,” he finally said. “It causes her nothing more than slight discomfort. And we’re all done now.”

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