Page 16 of Sheltered in the Storm

Thanks to my time stationed on his homeworld, I understood enough about Fortusian biology to know what that meant. If I left him, he would pine for me for the rest of his days. He could find physical pleasure with others, but never true comfort or the sense of belonging to another who also belonged to him.

The concept of a true mate had always revolted me because I believed it eliminated my power or right to make a choice for myself. But at this moment, I wasn’t revolted by him or his claim. Apprehensive, overwhelmed, and fully aware I couldn’t desert the Alliance Defense, but not revolted. Was that the concussion talking? I wasn’t sure.

“Is that why you didn’t want to explain why you’re naked and holding me?” I asked. “Because you think I’m your mate?”

“Partly. You also experienced intense nightmares and did not lie still in your sleep.” He remained expressionless, but his voice sounded more gentle now. And he’d relaxed a little, possibly because I hadn’t tried to punch him for calling me his mate. “I needed to keep you warm and prevent you from rolling off the bed.”

“You could have done that with your clothes on,” I pointed out.

“Perhaps I wanted to see your reaction to my body.” His gaze stayed on my face, searching for some clue as to what I thought of the situation. “If you were repulsed by me, you could not be my mate.”

I felt many things when I looked at him—too many to process all at once—but repulsion was not one of them.

What could I say? He’d gone to so much trouble to keep me alive. By admitting he thought I was his mate, he’d made himselfvulnerable to me in a way that must have gone against every bit of training and indoctrination the Guard had imposed on him.

But none of that was on me. Ididowe him for saving my life, even if he’d done it in a way I didn’t want, but I didn’t owe himme.

For that matter, if I didn’t reenlist in the Defense, I wouldn’t receive my hefty bonus for completing my second full term of enlistment. I counted on that money to fund my settlement on some world I hadn’t chosen yet, where I could work and save up more to travel the stars.

Iosa wasn’t in any of those plans. Neither was Vos.

Better to tell him now so he didn’t get his hopes up. Just because I didn’t want to be his mate didn’t mean I was ungrateful or I wanted to be cruel.

“You need not say it or explain.” His voice was quiet. “I see your answer plainly.” His expression closed off as if he’d flicked a switch. “Then, if it is what you wish, I will set this strange feeling aside and simply say I did not want you to die nameless and alone on this moon.”

But there was no un-ringing that bell.

Despite his offer to pretend otherwise, he clearly believed, or knew through some extra sense, that Iwashis mate.

I’d find some way to compensate him for everything he’d done. He’d saved my life at great risk to his own. That was worth a chunk of my savings, since now I might live to replenish my account instead of, as he’d said, dying nameless and alone on this moon.

I wanted to be asleep instead of watching a powerful man struggle to come to terms with the most profound of rejections, but if I was too much of a coward to face him now, I probably didn’t deserve to have survived the crash.

“I’m sorry.” I cleared my throat so I didn’t sound shaky when I added, “It’s probably for the best if I send a communication immediately to my squad commander requesting rescue.”

He said nothing for a long moment. “There are no interplanetary communications stations within fifty kilometers,” he said finally. “Except for the equipment at the raider camp, and we cannot go there.”

I was shocked speechless once more. A nice, quiet homestead was one thing, but fifty kilometers to a town large enough to have interplanetary communications? Who would want to live such an isolated life?

A man who lived in hiding, who’d had his fill of the ways of the worlds and alliances beyond this moon.

“When you are better healed, I will travel to the closest communications relay station and send a message to your squad commander,” Vos said. “I will not leave you here alone until you can protect yourself. Even running, I would be gone for many days. I have no motorized transportation.”

“You’re not going to run fifty kilometers by yourself to send an SOS on my behalf,” I said, my voice sharper than I’d intended because the thought of anyone offering to do that for me was beyond ludicrous. “We’ll have to wait until I’m well enough to travel with you. My squad commander will just have to understand I couldn’t call for help right away.”

Mentally, though, I snorted at my own words. Proos would probably be insufferable and irate about my long absence rather than relieved to hear I’d survived both the raider battle and the crash. At least my squadron mates would welcome me back to the outpost, even if Proos yelled at me for hours and assigned me to cleaning duty in the mess hall.

I caught glimpses of a half-dozen emotions in Vos’s eyes before he regained his hard mask. One of them might have been hope, though I could have imagined it or misread his expression.

“It will take weeks or months for you to heal enough,” he said. “But I will do my best to help you recover your strength, if you will trust me.”

Trust. After everything I’d been through, that was amuchbigger ask than he could possibly realize.

I did believe he’d help me recover and make the journey to a town where I could contact the Alliance Defense—but I also believed he thought these weeks or months of healing might give him a chance to persuade me to stay.

I should tell him there was no chance, but for some reason, the words wouldn’t come out.

CHAPTER 6

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