“First, do no harm,” I reminded him. “Sex is definitely going to help me feel better.”
He shook his head again, turning away. I didn’t know if he got the joke or not, but apparently, I wasn’t getting the D.
My mind ran over every single stupid decision I’d made and my body throbbed despite the shame. He bustled around, presumably preparing food, and I wondered what he’d do if I started sadly masturbating.Jesus, Eve.
I was confident he’d wanted me, but I wasn’t quite confident enough to go there solo. So I curled up and tried to be sensible. And I fell asleep.
chaptersix
irosabsuul
I wasn’tsurprised when the Heartland Refugee Service representatives arrived before dawn the next day. I’d never had reason to prompt their attendance before, but I couldn’t trust myself around her. What else could I do, except call for their assistance?
She’d looked…closed off. The way she had when she’d first opened her eyes, her distrust palpable, her resignation worn like battletech.
Still, she’d trustedmeswiftly. All they needed to do was give her somewhere dry to sleep and a bit of food, and she’d realise the Reps were no more likely to hurt her than I was. We all thrived working together, and we were safest as part of a strong community.
“I can walk,” she told the rep who offered to assist her out the door to the hoversled.
Last night she’d smiled up at me asI’dcarried her. She’d wrapped herself around me like I was her rock.
“You can visit any time you wish,” I told her, in case she thought she wasn’t welcome. “You know how to get to the sanctuary, or summon me, and I’ll come and get you.”
The look she sent me was swift and unreadable. The smile that curved her mouth wasn’t the same one I’d seen last night, full of joy. “Gratitude, Dreamdiver,” she told me, and the literal translation of my name made me ache strangely. “Don’t tangle up my net.”
My digits stuck to the underside of the bench. The Reps farewelled me. I listened to them helping her onto the hoversled, then the soft whir as it left.
I might not ever see her again. She might find her Calling and work in a rewarding, challenging field I never even knew about.
Or she might be back tomorrow.The thought nagged at me throughout the day. They’d be giving her more official medical care. She’d view the introduction holos, settle into her temporary apartment, tour the city, get to practice some of the new customs. She’d have the opportunity to contact anyone who might be concerned for her.
The thought drove me to the water and I swam deep. She’d told me there was no one, and I believed her.
She’d come back. I felt the familiar tug of the current against my fins and closed my eyes, breathing deeply and feeling the water cling to me.
Her lips had been so soft. So hungry.
The changing temperature prompted me to open my eyes, and I swam into the sanctuary, but the tasks I needed to do felt hollow and the net stared at me from where we’d left it. Her work was wonderful. She hadn’t done terribly with making the food, either.
The anxious Heartfin in the tank heavy with vegetation darted out of my sight with just a flash of purple, and the incomplete net mocked me.
Surely, she’d recognize the Call.
Back to me. Back to Sanctuary.
I rubbed my neck, knowing I couldn’t rush her, that she’d choose to answer or not and either way, I’d do well to continue my work.
It would’ve been easy to put it down to how unsettling her visit had been, or how worried I was about the incomplete preparations before the twomoon, but it was purely because I missed her that the days went slowly. I forced myself to work on the net and imagined her exploring the infohub, enjoying the Heartspring, and tasting food. I wondered if she’d find someone to take her on as an apprentice weaver, or if she’d go into tailoring, or spinning, or whether there were other professions I hadn’t even considered that might allow her to answer her Calling. I wondered what she’d look like after one rotation, and six, and twenty, whether I’d recognise her still and whether she’d realise before our lifespans ebbed.
I wished I knew her so I could guess.
I wished I hadn’t called the Reps.
In bed at night I fell asleep thinking about her returning right as the twomoons rose over the sea and the Heartfins swam. I imagined the way she’d smile and it would make all of her soften with joy, her hard-won wariness put aside. She’d stroke my neckslit and suck my tongue and I’d spread her out in the shallows, with the migration behind us, and match scientific with practical knowledge.
It was an excellent fantasy, and I clung to it as the days ticked down even knowing I’d probably see this migration out as I often did, finding joy by myself watching the ebb and flow of the bioresonant sensitive marine life.
I was in Sanctuary when the alert popped up on the holoalarm to the side of the cave, only a day and a half until the twomoon rise.