Hell, no. Aaliyah would roast both our asses. Mine was thick like leather, but if she got to us, we’d be charcoal.
Taking a leaf out of my old lady’s book, I tried a different tactic, digging to the bottom of his problem. “What the fuck is up with you lately? You got something you want to get off your chest?”
“My priorities changed.” Zethan shrugged, disinterested and bored.
I didn’t feel confident he’d have my back if shit hit the fan.
“Do you even want to be a Jackal anymore?” The words sliced my vocal cords.
Zethan rubbed his weary forehead. “I don’t know. I need a break. I’ve burned the candle at both ends.”
Pain cracked through the center of my chest, and I fought the urge not to dig my nails into my ribs.
That was fair. He worked hard. Damn hard. Day and night at the club and shelter and judged the souls in the Underworld at night. Poor asshole deserved a holiday but never took one. Never took a damn sick day even when hungover and vomiting after celebrating at the club’s Christmas party. The one party he attended per year.
“Want me to bench you for a while?” I did it for Alaric. Wasn’t happy about doing it for a second avatar. That only left me and Castor to run the fucking club. But if giving Zethan a break reminded him of how much he loved the club, then I’d fucking do it. If it reminded him of our bond, our friendship, even better.
“No. I just need to take a step back.”
“I can do that.”
Zethan nodded appreciatively.
“I didn’t want any of this.” Fuck. What had Aaliyah done to me? Turned me into a confessing pussy. But I couldn’t stop the soppy words from falling from my lips. “I need you. You’re my best friend. My VP.”
“Slade Vincent breaks the rules when it suits him.” Zethan might as well have plunged a knife through my goddamn heart.
This was going to turn ugly if I didn’t rein it in. We were broken. Our friendship severed. Any harsh words I threw at him fuel to the fire. I bit them back with everything I had.
So, I did the opposite of what a war god would do, because that only served to burn and scar me. “I love you and this is killing me.”
Resentment burned dark and deep. “You only love yourself. But we’ll see where your loyalties lie. Because the avatar is coming for us. Danny promised it.”
I couldn’t fight a war with him and survive it as well as fight the avatar. None of us would make it out alive. I put my pride and hurt aside for once.
I was a sinner, not a saint. Part and parcel of serving a ruthless god of Chaos and War. Guys like me didn’t get redemption when we played the role of the devil. But I had plenty of sins. Pride. Arrogance. Greed for power. Tick them all off. I checked every fucking box.
Truth fucking hurt. I would swallow my pride for him. Like my old lady, I’d fight for my brother. But I wasn’t sure if he’d fight for me.
I redirected the conversation back to the topic that needed answering. “What do you think about Dash, Steele, and the shifters?”
“He’ll work hard,” Zethan replied curtly. “Be accountable. You can trust him.” What I wanted to hear.
“Do we give ‘em a chance?”
Zethan gave me one of his shrugs that replaced his sage advice. “You’re the president. It's up to you.”
His words carried the weight of a soul left to contemplate their shitty deeds for a thousand years. Told me everything I needed to know. I didn't just lose my VP I lost my best friend. Because I didn’t break the rules as I always did and assert my authority. Fear of losing the club pinioned me. An ache split down the middle of my chest as I sent out a few pulses on the bond signaling for Alaric to leave Dash and come out to meet with us.
“What did you get?” I asked when he came to stand, arms behind his back, always to fucking attention with me. I had to wipe away this military bullshit.
Alaric’s gaze panned the crowd, vigilant and always scanning for danger. I didn’t think even Aaliyah could break that habit. If it gave him peace of mind, I didn’t care. This world demanded you always check for threats.
“His heart and intentions seem pure.” My road captain’s god eye enabled him to peer into a person and see the heart of him. Something he wasn’t able to do with Aaliyah. Whether that was because her goddess or his bias blocked him was yet to be determined.
Fire in my lungs fed the constant battle of chaos in my blood and I doubted I could give up the cigarettes even if my old lady wanted me to. “You think he’ll fuck us?”
“Doubt it.” Alaric’s finger traced the volume knob of his radio. “He pines to find his mate and settle down.” Motivation enough to keep his nose clean. He scratched his chest over his heart. “He needs stability.”