Page 47 of Half Blind

“Yeah, the Cranberry. You know she got a bonus and shared some of it with me! A nice chunk of change too,” Yield said, “I like her. Are you taking care of her? You planning to do right by her? None of that Archangel paperwork shit. She needs a pretty white dress and a bouquet with, you know, some cranberries in it.”

Mustang held the device. His inner dialogue made an outer appearance. “What in the entire fuzzballs? You're asking to be my best man at me and Helen's wedding?”

“Oh, her name is Helen! A nice name. I like that. I like her,” Yield said. “Let me know the colors and if it will be a regular tux or long tails.”

“Go away,” Mustang said and ended the call.

He tried again to plug in the phone, but it rang in his hand. He shook his head in disbelief. Never, in all of his years as a Technician, had he received this many calls back to back. Mustang's finger slid across the glass. “Yes?”

“This is the operator,” the lady said. “I have a request to connect from The Bad Apple; will you take the call?”

“Do I want to?” he said as the line clicked, then silence. “Hello.”

“This is the Bad Apple.”

“I know. How may I help you?”

The silence in the line meant this call was going to be about some bullshit too. He held the line and waited for the tomfuckery. Mustang blinked several times, ensuring his brain was processing what he was hearing.

“Yeah, Cranberry, she shared her bonus with the kids I have. She set up a high interest money market CD for each of the boys. Ricky even got a finger,” Bad Apple said.

“Who is Ricky and why is...Cranberry giving him the finger? What is a finger? Did she shoot him a bird?”

“No, a thousand dollars man! She gave Ricky and all the kids a thousand and me too, from her bonus,” Bad Apple said. “We all want to come to the wedding. I know Oscar will want to be a part as well. He loves her.”

In the background, he heard a man's voice which sounded a great deal like Barry White. Mustang thought he was hearing things. The man was shouting how much he loved Helen too.

“Who is that in the background?”

“Ricky; he is infatuated with all things Cranberry,” Bad Apple said. “If you guys have no plans for Thanksgiving, we'd love to have you here. Stephen has been working on cranberry recipes and can make a cranberry souffle.”

Mustang's eyebrows arched as if he were straining to hear what was being said, “And who is Stephen?”

“My ward,” Bad Apple said. “He wanted fuchsia walls in his bedroom and he likes hats. Cranberry gave him her chapeau the first day they arrived and he thinks she's his surrogate non-Asian Auntie.”

Mustang said, “I'm hanging up now.”

“Can we come to the wedding?” Bad Apple said, “If she needs someone to give her away, I'll be happy to. I mean, if her dad can't make it down from New York to do it.”

“I'll let her know. Mustang out,” he said, ending the call. He pondered Bad Apple knowing about Helen's father. Did he know about Helen's father? She'd mentioned her mother living in Chicago...

He stood in his office staring at the wall. For a moment, he was dumbfounded by it all. Finally, he plugged in the device, ready for it to charge, when in the other room, his personal phone rang. The device showed the face of his adopted brother, Mr. Slow.

“Hey,” Mustang said.

“How's it going?” Slow asked.

“Odd and getting stranger by the minute; what's up?” he asked.

“Just checking in,” Slow said. “The wife is missing Helen. We haven't seen her in a while. I know the last time you were here, you guys spent some time together. You planning to make that permanent?”

“What in the actual pitstop is going on?”

“Whaddya mean? I was just wondering,” Slow said. “Daddy said, if you do marry her, he wanted to be the one to give her away. Yeah, and I want to be your best man. Cherry didn't get a wedding, just that paperwork bullshit the Archangel does with name changes and crap. Helen should have a wedding. Daddy said one of his kids should have a wedding and you're up next. Are you planning to pop the question, and are you coming home for Thanksgiving this year or for Christmas?”

“I'm going to be late for work,” Mustang said. “Please let Dad know that Helen's father may want the honor of giving his own daughter's hand in marriage.”

“Her Dad is still in the picture?”

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