Page 64 of Anastasia

My life was supposed to be easy. I expected to claim my happily ever after. The truth was that in reality, there was no such thing as being happy forever.

A tear escaped before I had a chance to stop it.

“I know you really wanted a baby, and I’m so sorry that I couldn’t have it. There is no happy with me, Valentino. You deserve someone who is happy,” I whispered, my voice still breaking in sadness.

“There’s no one in the world I could ever imagine having children with other than you,” he told me.

I wanted to cry at the possibility of that never happening. Silence settled around us as he hugged me tightly.

“I need to, um, shower,” I whispered before getting up on shaky feet.

My balance was so off that I almost fell, but Valentino was quick to get up and let me lean on him for support.

Before I could apologize, he swept me off my feet and held me like a newlywed bride. He walked me into the bathroom before sitting me down on the counter. I could only watch him with a numbness coating my heart as he turned on the shower.

He walked up to me with his hands on my hips before pecking my cheek. I couldn’t even allow myself to have an expression. Everything still felt so wrong. Being happy felt wrong. He lifted my shirt off of me before taking off the shorts that the hospital had given. The fresh panties I got from the hospital were already covered in blood, and as I looked down, I sucked in a breath and started crying once more.

He was going to realize that I’m incapable of doing something like carrying his baby. I was a disgrace, which is exactly why Alex should be alive instead of me.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he whispered before bringing me into his chest.

I knew what he was doing—he was trying not to allow me to see it, but it was stuck on repeat in my brain.It was my baby.

He peeled off my panties, which only resulted in me crying more as I wrapped my arms around his neck and sobbed into the crook of his neck. He pulled them down until they were off my legs before allowing his hand to climb up to the clasp of my bra. He undid the clasp and then took it off of me.

When I turned slightly to look in the mirror, I could see how much of a mess I looked. My makeup was a wreck and my hair was so tangled. Not to mention the fact that my blue eyes were left dull and lifeless.

Turning my attention back to Valentino, he had finished removing his shirt along with his pants before he pushed down his boxers. When he finished, he grabbed a hold of my hand and helped me down from the counter before walking me into the huge shower.

I wrapped my hands around his waist as I continued to lay against his chest. My eyes shut as he grabbed some soap and began to wash my entire body. The silence that settled around us was calming.

My mind was empty, my heart was empty, everything just feltempty. How does a person get over killing the life of one who never got the chance to even live?

“Anastasia, look at me,” he said.

He kissed the top of my head as I craned my neck up to look at him. I could see the broken look in his eyes as well. I never took into account how hurt he must’ve felt. He was the one who really wanted a baby.

“You did nothing wrong. Some things happen, and I know you’re hurt, but maybe it wasn’t the best time to have a child. Your body knew it, and one day when things are better, we’ll try for another one. I love you, baby, don’t forget that I’m here,” he said softly. I nodded as I brought my face into his neck once more.

“I love you,” I cried. His arms tightened around me. I felt safe and I felt home. “We would’ve made amazing parents. I took care of Alex; you took care of Vince—I can’t stop thinking about how different our child’s life would be compared to the lives we were given. We’ve been hurt so much, why are we still hurting?”

He was starting to wash my hair, and he wasn’t saying a word. When I looked up, there was a tear falling from his eye, or maybe it was the shower.

“You? You don’t deserve all of the terrible things that keep happening to you. Me? I deserve it all. I’m a bad man, Anastasia,” he explained.

Shaking my head, I pulled away from his neck to look into his eyes.

“You’re not a bad man. I know you feel bad for what happened to Orabella. When you looked me in the eye and told me you wouldn’t hurt her, I didn’t see a lie. She’s strong, and I know she will be okay. You are not the devil, you’re just a hurt man. If you look too closely, you can’t see that the devil and a hurt man are so similar that they can appear to be the same,” I told him. His eyes gazed into mine before he leaned down to peck my lips. When he pulled away, he kissed my cheek before kissing the top of my head.

After the shower, he turned off the water before helping me step out. I watched him as he wrapped a towel around my cold frame before placing one around his waist.

“I’ll go get you some clothes from your room. Stay here,” he said. I nodded and followed him with my eyes as he walked out of the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

When he came back, he dressed me before dressing himself. He then carried me to our bed, where he laid me down right beside him with my eyes looking up to the ceiling while he was lying on his stomach with his arm around me.

“What’s your mother’s name?” I asked randomly. He looked over at me with curiosity very obvious on his features.

“Agnella,” he answered.

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