Page 43 of Anastasia

“I’m so sorry! I know I promised you. I’m sorry. Don’t hate me, and don’t blame yourself. I’m sorry,” she sobbed.

A tear had fallen down my cheek, which I quickly wiped away. Pulling away, I nodded to let her know I understood what she was trying to say.

“I know, Mum. I don’t blame you, but you can’t just do this. I already lost Alex, and it was hard to get through that. I can’t lose you too,” I said softly.

She nodded, tears streaming as she sobbed.

“I know, Nana. I’m trying so hard to be the mother I am supposed to be. I can’t,” she announced, her shoulders falling in defeat as she held her head in her hands.

“Don’t worry about being my mother right now. I’m doing fine and I’m happy. All I need is for you to try your best to get better. You don’t need to pretend. If you feel like I’m pressuring you or something, it’s okay to tell me to back off and give you a little space,” I told her as my arm reached up to rub her shoulder soothingly.

She shook her head back and forth. “It’s not that, Anastasia. I can’t stop thinking about my little girl. How could I let her leave the world like that? How could I ever call myself a mother when I didn’t give two bloody fucks that my baby had cancer?” she yelled sadly.

“Alex knew you wanted to be there with her. She talked about it all the time, and even when I told her that if you wanted to be there you would—she’d always say that the real you loved us more than anything. What’s sad is that I’m talking to therealyou right now, and I still see the exact same amount of selfishness that I saw when you were high, Mum. I know Alex is gone, but I’m still here. I’m right here!” I sobbed, tapping my chest with tears falling from my eyes.

She looked shocked, but it quickly washed away with a look of realization.

“How do you think it would make me feel to hear you killed yourself, huh? She loved you, Mum! Her last words to me were to take care of you! Why can’t you see that we’ve always seen the good mother in you? Why can’t you see what Alex has always seen—whatIhave always seen?” I yelled, the tears falling.

I knew that yelling at someone who was on the verge of suicide wasn’t smart, but I kept so much bottled in, I felt the need to explode.

“You’re right. I am being selfish, and I need to stop. I know I have issues, Anastasia. I know I have troubles that I need to work through. I swear to never do anything like this again if you swear to never let me get in the way of you being happy,” she whispered.

I sat down on the bed, sniffling my tears, pulling her into my embrace once again. The anger I felt quickly left my body at the feeling of my mother holding onto me.

“You need to give yourself a lot more credit. Sure, things have been rocky, but you’ve always done your best for us, Mom,” I told her.

She let out a sigh as she nodded her head softly. I wasn’t sure how much time we spent hugging. After a while, our tears stopped and turned into a comforting silence.

“I know this isn’t the best time, but he’s here, and I feel bad leaving him out there for so long,” I finally said before pulling away from the hug. Her eyebrows were pulled together in confusion before she wiped away her dried-up tears. Strolling over to the door, I pushed it open and waved my hand over for him to come into the room.

Valentino looked at me with bewilderment, yet he made his way toward me. My mother’s eyes were wide and I could’ve sworn her jaw dropped as she looked at him.

“Mum, this is?”

“Her boyfriend. You must be Miss Olivia Smith. Anastasia has spoken so much of you,” he greeted her before taking her hand and pressing it to his lips. I could’ve sworn I saw a blush on my mother’s face. Suddenly, my mind processed his words.Did he just call himself my boyfriend?

“Jacob?” she asked.

My heart was hammering in my chest when he turned to look at me. I saw the anger in his eyes that he seemed to hide so well from my mother.

“Valentino Romano,” he said behind clenched teeth. “I see where Anastasia gets her beautiful looks from.”

Rolling my eyes, I continued to watch the two of them. She looked over at me with approval as she smiled at Valentino.

“I’m sorry to meet you under such circumstances. Anastasia really didn’t give me any notice.” She chuckled and cast her gaze down.

“No, no, I didn’t know I was going to be meeting you today. It’s quite a surprise for me as well. I guess Anastasia just couldn’t hold in her excitement of our being together. She must’ve wanted you to know as soon as possible.” He smirked.

My mother smiled happily, and for the first time, I could see it had met her eyes. It made me glad to see that.

“Well, Mum, the doctors said we could only visit a short time. I’ll be back very soon, but remember our deal,” I told her before bending over and kissing the top of her head.

Just as I pulled away, Valentino grabbed onto my waist and held me against him.

“See you soon, Anastasia.” She smiled. “As well as you, Valentino.”

“Of course, Miss Smith. It was my pleasure meeting you,” he told her.

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