Page 16 of Anastasia

“I know that I have cancer. I know that it is real and that I’m dying. This whole time it was always easy to forget about it and stay strong because my family needs me to be.Youtaught me to be, but as I look at myself with no hair,” her voice cracked. “It all feels so real now. I’mdying, Anastasia. I have cancer.”

I shook my head, tears of my own beginning to fall. “No, you aren’t. I won’t allow that to happen.”

She didn’t bother to say another word as she continued to look at her reflection. I could almost hear her thoughts, full of doubt and disbelief. There was so much I wished I could do for her, but I knew that I couldn’t.

After letting out a sigh, I cracked a small smile to try and lighten up her mood. “Now that you’re bald and everything, you kind of look like Vin Diesel.”

“Get the hell out!” Alexandria laughed as she pointed to the door.

I couldn’t help but chuckle. “What? Vin Diesel is hot!”

We continued to laugh and cry, our time together stretching into hours. I helped Alex back to her bed when the nurse came in and gave her all the medication she needed. Soon, Alexandria drifted off to sleep, allowing me to slip away.

* * *

“Mum!”I called out before flicking on the living room light. She soon walked out of her bedroom with a cigarette in her hand. Bags were visible under her eyes. I couldn’t help but notice her drained expression as she stared at me. It was the first time in a while she was actually sober, and as much as I hated cigarettes, it was better than what she usually did.

“What?” she asked.

I walked toward her, only to see her eyebrows raised in question. I quickly wrapped my arms around her motherly frame and chose to ignore how her body shivered even though the room was not cold at all.

“Are you okay?” I asked. “I came to tell you that Alex has progres?”

“Anastasia, do you think I could borrow some money? I promise I will give it back. I just need a little to tide me over for a little,” she cut me off.

My eyebrows scrunched together. “Tide you over for what? I bought food for you, I paid all of the utility bills, and the rent. What could you possibly need money for?”

She looked away from me, preparing to share another lie. A dangerous fire was settling in my bones as I waited.

When I walked in to see her sober, a feeling of hope surged through my body. I wanted to talk to her like how we used to talk all of the time in Australia. She used to be such a great mother before she met her friend’sdisappointmentanddrugsafter bringing us to America. She promised us a better life, but so far, it only seemed worse. I would have gladly accepted the cruel man that my mum once called her husband, who beat on her more times than I could count than having lost my mother in a battle of sobriety. I could never understand how that same man was the father to a kind girl like Alex. Luckily, she doesn’t remember a single thing about him.

It would’ve been great to have someone who understood how I felt about Alexandria’s situation, but instead, I was faced with a mother who only wanted money from me. Even though I have had to deal with this for so long, it always managed to sting.

“You know,” she began. “Girl products.”

I rolled my eyes before grabbing my bag and walking right past her. When I opened our bedroom door, I immediately wanted to scream. All of the clothes and shoes I had bought for Alex were gone. It didn’t take a genius to know who took them. I threw my bag on the ground before sitting on the bed with my hands in my hair.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” I yelled.

Tears no longer threatened to fall from my eyes. All I could pinpoint was a feeling of numbness that traveled from my thoughts to my heart. There was so much stress in working two jobs, taking care of my little sister who was battling the deadliest thing on Earth, and having to watch over a mother who no longer felt like being a mother at all.

“Fuck,” I whispered

I placed clothes and shoes into my bag. Irritation was clear in my expression. I was angrier with myself; I should have known she would do something so selfish. I needed to learn to be more careful with what I left in my mother’s care.

Grabbing my phone, I sent a quick text to Alex, informing her that I would be heading off to work.

The stare of my mother’s eyes, burning at me from the entrance of my bedroom didn’t go unnoticed.

“Don’t you ever ask me for a penny of my money! You should be ashamed of yourself! You sold all of the things I bought for your very sick daughter,” I snapped, my eyes never going to meet her.

“I didn’t do that! Anastasia, baby, you know I would never,” she lied, walking toward me. I grabbed my bag and stormed out of the room. Nothing will ever make up for the wrongs she had done.

Just before I walked out of the house, I snatched off the necklace she had gotten me many years ago, it was a locket of me and a woman I once loved to call my mother.

Gripping her hand, I placed the necklace in her palm. “That is all you will receive from me ever again Sell it, trade it, shove it up your ass for all I care.”

Without another word, I walked out and made sure to slam the door behind me.

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