Page 93 of Beautiful Thing

We’re almost to our street when my baby boy pipes up from the back seat. “Pawk, Mommy?”

I scrunch up my nose. “Oh, hun. We can’t go to the park right now. I think we should get home. It’s almost dark outside.”

“Pweeease, Mommy.” He tacks on the little pout he knows gets me wrapped around his finger every time.

Archer is slowing his truck as we near the next intersection. “It’s okay with me. I’m in no hurry.” He peeks at Sky. “You wanna play, little man? If it’s okay with Mommy, of course.”

I shift around to grin at my son in the backseat. “Guess we’re going to the park. But only for a few minutes, okay?”

Sky cheers, and Archer makes a U-turn to get us to the playground. It’s completely deserted when we arrive. We make quick work of getting Sky unbuckled and zipped up into his heavy winter clothes.

As soon as he’s free, Sky penguin-runs toward the equipment. After a few excited trips down the slide, he bends over, scoops up a handful of snow and tries to fling it at Archer.

“Oh, you want a snow fight, mister? It’s on!” Archer takes off in the direction of my son and their laughter echoes in the quiet evening air.

They start throwing snow at each other and I try to stay out of it, but I eventually find myself in the crossfire. I have no choice but to throw tiny snowballs of my own, just to defend myself.

All three of us are freezing, and it’s getting darker by the minute, but our laughter rises up above it all. It’s not hard to convince Sky that it’s time to go a little while later. By the time Archer scoops him up to carry him to the truck, his little teeth are chattering. But he’s wearing the biggest grin, from ear to ear.And so am I.

Soon, we’re home. Archer makes Sky and me warm up in our PJs by the fireplace while he cooks us a quick dinner.

We’re not a family. We’re not a family. We’re not a family.

I have to keep reminding myself the whole time. But heaven knows I wish we were.

38

ARCHER

Sky bounces excitedly in Layla’s lap as she reaches for the next gift bag. “Who’s that one from?” she asks my mother.

Mom adjusts the paper birthday hat on her head. She peeks down at the little ticket attached to the colorful bag she’s handing to Layla. “The card says…Archer.”

All eyes in my crowded living room swing to me.

“Anothergift from Archer?” Karli asks, hiding her grin behind her red plastic cup.

I shrug from where I’m sitting on the arm of the couch, shoving pretzels into my face. “It’s my favorite little man’s second birthday. That’s a big deal.”

As far as I’m concerned, the toy airplane, animal farm board books, plastic tool set and ride-on tractor I bought him weren’t enough. I want to give Sky the whole damn world. And I don’t care what anyone has to say about it.

Sky eagerly digs into the bag and Layla helps him navigate through all the tissue paper until he finally reaches his gift. A collectiveawwrings out around the room when Layla holds up the small lumberjack shirt.

The little boy grabs the shirt, slides out of his mother’s arms and runs over to me. “Mista Musdache?” He hands it to me, looking confused.

Laughter floats up around the birthday party.

“No, buddy. It’s not my shirt. It’s yours.” I scoop him onto my lap and help him put on the red flannel shirt, sliding the sleeves up his arms and buttoning up the front. “You like it?” I ask him.

“Like it,” he beams, proudly smoothing his hand down the fabric.

“We say ‘thank you’,” Layla coos from across the room.

“Ta-kou,” Sky says dutifully, grabbing my face in his sticky hands and giving me a slobbery kiss on the cheek. Then he runs back to his mama, eager to open his other gifts and totally unaware that he just melted my stony heart down to a puddle of slush.

Layla makes eye contact with me over Sky’s tousled head. “Looks like we’ll have to make that trip to the Redwoods after all.” She winks and fireworks go off inside my chest.

I force myself to seem unaffected as the house descends into chaos and the party continues. There are children running around, laughter filling the air, unidentified sticky shit on the floor and everyone is having a good time all around. I’m having sensory overload. I have to take a second to myself just to absorb all the madness.

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