Page 48 of The Wedding Wrecker

"No! We just... kissed."

"Just kissed? Your lips are swollen. That was not 'just' kissing." Her words took on a British accent. “You just got propa’ ravaged, darlin’. You sure you aren’t pregnant already?”

I touched my mouth self-consciously. "It got a little... intense."

"Define intense. And why did it stop? Please tell me you're not still hung up on the Ireland thing."

"He explained about his wife?—"

"Woah, woah. Back the train up. Rewind the tape.Wife???”

"Ex-wife. She cheated on him. With his brother."

"Holy shit."

"Yeah." I lowered my voice. "That's why he does what he does. Exposing cheaters and otherwise sneaky, undeserving people at weddings. He thinks it's better than letting people go through with the vows."

"Okay, that's... actually kind of noble? In a completely fucked up way? Also explains why he's so hot. Tragic backstory and hot guys go better together than peanut butter and jelly—and you know how much I respect the PB&J, so I don’t say that lightly."

"That's the problem. He makes sense when he explains it. And then he kisses me and I can't think at all."

"Sounds like you need to kiss him more. You know, for clarity."

"This isn't funny."

"It's a little funny. You're sharing a bed with the gorgeous guy who broke your heart, and now you're getting all hot and bothered about his tragic past. It's like a Hallmark movie but with more sexual tension." She paused. "Howisthe shared bed thing going? Have you guys had yourha ha, oops, did I just penetrate youmoment yet?”

"Um, I’m pretty sure that’s not a thing. Although, I did kind of... mount him in my sleep once."

Maggie choked on whatever she was drinking. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I was asleep! And he was just... there. All warm and... there. I guess my body was acting out my dream or something. I can’t explain it, and I’ve never had something like this happen before."

"Please tell me there's video."

"I hate you. And of course there’s not video. Why would there be video?"

"No, you don't hate me. But seriously, Em. What are you going to do? You've got what, another week of sharing a room with him? Plus all those cute winter activities you planned..."

"Don't remind me. There's the sleigh ride tomorrow, and ice skating after that..."

"Ooh, lots of opportunities for him to wrap his arms around you. Show you how to balance..."

"I know how to ice skate."

"He doesn't need to know that."

The shower cut off. "I have to go."

"Use protection! Actually, why bother? It’s not every day you have a chance to get injected with premium, top-shelf genetic material. Think of the beautiful babies his batter would make. And Emma?"

"Yeah?"

"Maybe this time actually talk to him before jumping straight to the naked parts?"

"I'm hanging up now."

"Love you too. Call me after the next makeout session, or if you want to talk baby names!"

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