Page 43 of The Plot Twist

‘Well, you don’t. But you get the excitement in different ways. Sorry, why are we discussing this in the first place?’

‘Oh, right. Yes, well, I think I’ve worked out where I’ve been going wrong all these years.’

‘By dating Dominic?’

‘Thanks, Jess.’

‘Sorry.’

‘So, every relationship I’ve ever had has started off with the butterflies, right? And then they disappear, and at that stage I either move on or don’t.’

‘And we’re back to Dominic, aren’t we?’

‘Can you please stop interrupting me and bringing up Dominic?’ Allie pleaded. ‘But yes, agreed, Dominic was a low point. Instead of moving on, I stayed, and it ended with me not being able to write, right?!’ Allie said.

‘Right!’ Jess agreed enthusiastically.

‘So, what I need to do, in order to keep writing, is keep those butterflies going with Will!’

‘Yay!’ Jess sounded confused more than excited. ‘And how do we do that?’

‘By keeping him at arm’s length, not getting too attached. No getting comfy and familiar!’

There was another long pause. Allie’s triumphant feelings at having cracked the formula for having her cake and eating it – i.e. smashing hot guy AND fulfilling publishing contractual requirements – were beginning to feel a little shaky.

‘Al?’ Jess said dubiously. ‘I’m not sure that’s going to work.’

‘Why not?’ Allie was on the defensive now. She liked those triumphant feelings and she wasn’t going to give them up without a fight.

‘Because you like him, right? So you’re going to get closer. It’s just the way love works.’

Allie spluttered, ‘Love? Jess, c’mon. I’m after lust here.’

‘Yeah, I know you are. But that’s my point. Lust only lasts so long. So either you get closer and it turns into something else, or the lust fades and gets replaced by nothing and that’s when you call it quits.’

‘Exactly!I just need to keep him in the lust zone while I get this book written. And then?—’

‘Then what? Allie, I don’t see this ending well for you. I don’t think you can hope you’ll find someone to lust after every time you need to write a book.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because…’ Jess sighed. ‘What happened to happy-ever-after? Maybethat’swhat you should be looking for.’

‘I don’t believe in happy-ever-afters anymore,’ Allie said mulishly.

‘OK, Allie, whatever. But, you want my opinion? You shouldstartbelieving again. Maybethat’swhy you can’t write? Maybe Willisthe one? Maybe you should give him a chance and see what happens rather than holding him at arm’s length? Maybe those butterflies you’re chasing will one day transform into something lovely and permanent.’

Allie thought about Jess’s advice. She thought about the kid she had been with her head in those romance novels, who would rather have died than admit during her angry teenage phase that what she really wanted, more than anything else in the world, was to find her happy-ever-after and run off with him into the sunset and catch those butterflies together. And she wondered when it was that she had lost that dream, when she had become so cynical. She cradled her phone between her neck and her ear as she scrabbled in the bottom of her wardrobe for her trainers.

‘Al?’ Jess asked. ‘What are you doing?’

‘Looking for some shoes.’

‘Right. Are you OK?’ Jess sounded concerned.

‘Yeah, just, you know, lots to think about.’

‘OK, I’m sorry if I upset you. I just hate to think about you not grabbing this opportunity and not making the most of things with Will. I know this sounds sappy, but you light up when you talk about him. I can see it in your face and hear it in your voice. Don’t miss out just because you think it will help your writing.’

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