Page 29 of The Plot Twist

‘Aw yuck. I am definitely not reading this new one.’ Jess pretended to vomit and then had to assure the waitress who had just come to collect their plates that there was absolutely nothing wrong with the food. ‘It was bad enough last time when I kept wondering if you thought about Dominic when you wrote your sex scenes.’

‘Jess!’ protested Allie. This was a perennial source of anxiety for Allie. Would people think it was autobiographical? Would they think that she was writing about her own fetishes? What would hermotherthink? It was this kind of thing that would wake Allie in a cold sweat at night. And something she didn’t want her best friend questioning her about over breakfast.

Jess didn’t seem to think it was an issue and smiled sweetly back at Allie, drinking the cappuccino she had ordered to make up for the undrinkable cleansing juice.

‘Do you know, I find it a bit depressing to realise how little I miss Dominic and how easy it was for him just to walk out.’

Jess looked serious for a moment. ‘Yeah, I get it. I mean it’s good that you weren’t so invested but at the same time, makes you wonder what it was all for.’

Jess had hit the nail on the head and in the process made Allie tear up. Because this was exactly how she had been feeling for months, maybe even for years. Every time she had written a new book she had wondered what she was missing out on and why she could never get the happy-ever-after that she wrote so lovingly for each of her characters. She wondered where she had gone wrong and again, what her dad would say if he could see her now, settling for mediocre men.

‘Oh Al, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry!’ Jess looked mortified and reached across the table to grab Allie’s hand, almost making the revolting juice fly across the cafe.

Allie righted it just in time, only to be rewarded with a smear of green slime on her wrist. She wiped the rancid mess on a napkin and shook her head at Jess. ‘It’s fine, I’m fine!’ she insisted.

Jess gave her a look that Allie hadn’t seen in a while. It was the ‘I know you’re pretending to be brave, but I also know there’s more to this’ look.

‘Ugh, OK. I’m fine about splitting up with Dominic – see, I even said splitting up and not “being dumped”.’ Allie gave Jess a meaningful stare but was not rewarded with the praise she was seeking.

There was a moment of silence, and then Allie broke, ‘OK, alright. I don’t care about Dominic, but I do care about what this says about me and about my relationships with men.’ Allie was now properly on the verge of weeping, her voice had gone all wobbly and was getting higher in pitch with every word she spoke. She fumbled in her rucksack for tissues but came up with only a sweaty headband and a damp yoga towel. Briefly she considered using one of these to mop her tears before realising that Jess was holding out a packet of tissues towards her. Of course she was, you didn’t perfect ‘the look’ without thinking ahead of the consequences of using that look on unsuspecting individuals.

‘You know,’ Jess said, pulling a tissue free and giving it to Allie, who had been grappling with the packet and was in danger of just shredding the lot. ‘It’s totally normal to be upset about a relationship ending, even if you’re glad that it has.’

‘But that’s just it!’ wailed Allie. ‘I’m not even sure it was a relationship!’ She held the tissue to her nose, which had started leaking just as much as her eyes. ‘How can you call it a relationship when there’s nothing to sort out after it ends? We had literallynothingto disentangle.’ Allie took a deep breath and tried to calm her ragged breathing.

‘Hey, hey, it’s OK.’ Jess grabbed her arm awkwardly across the table and tried to comfort her.

‘Yeah, I know, it’s fine. Really. I’m fine,’ Allie insisted again. ‘It’s just a bit depressing. Two years and nothing to show for it. And I keep wondering why I bothered staying with him.’

‘Apathy? Inertia? Al,’ Jess said encouragingly, ‘we’ve all let a relationship drag on when it should have been marked do not resuscitate. It is what it is.’

‘But what if it means I suck at relationships?’ Jess gave Allie a ‘please, listen to yourself’ look. But Allie was on a roll. ‘What if not only do I suck at relationships but that’s the reason I can no longer write books about them? Look, I really like Will, he’s seriously hot, but I don’t think it’s a good idea right now just to launch myself into another relationship.’

‘What?’ Jess exploded. ‘How did we get from maybe I suck at relationships to maybe I should ghost the first guy who’s given me the feels in years?’

Allie shrugged. She wasn’t sure herself, but somewhere, deep down inside her she feared that all the situation with Will would lead to was disappointment and eventual apathy, because that’s all she knew.

Jess frowned at her. ‘Firstly, this thing with Will, maybe it doesn’t have to be a relationship, maybe it could just be fun. And secondly, just enjoy it, Allie.’

‘I don’t think I should.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because, because … because things are really messed up right now and I don’t think I should be dragging someone else into that mess.’

‘OK.’ Jess was now using the voice she used when dealing with children and irrational clients. ‘You need to get a grip, it’s not a mess. You got dumped.’ Jess waved away Allie’s protest at her choice of language. ‘And…’ She paused for effect. ‘You have already met someone who makes you feel like … like…’ She searched for the right words.

‘OK, this isn’t working,’ Jess said eventually.

‘This?’ asked Allie.

‘Yes this,’ Jess waved her arms around, ‘yoga, cleansing juices, avocado on toast. You need something to knock some sense into you, make you realise you’re great, you’re a catch! You’re allowed to have fun, flirt, kiss hot men! You’re a bestselling author, Allie! Who yes, I concede, might be having some trouble writing her next book, but as I understand it that’s not uncommon when you’ve been churning out books for years.’

‘We prefer you don’t use the term “churn” when describing the writing process,’ seethed Allie.

‘Shut up,’ snapped Jess. ‘Allie. You’re great. You had a shit and uneventful time with disappointing Dominic. Did I ever tell you that this is what Tom and I always called him? No? Well, now you know. But that’s over. And now you’ve met a new guy who is making your pants ping and he’s got the serious hots for you too. Enjoy it. And yes, maybe it will help you write, maybe it won’t. But just enjoy it for god’s sake, because you deserve it.’

Allie gaped at Jess’s outburst and wondered whether to be offended by Tom and Jess’s nickname for Dominic. ‘Does anyone really say “got the hots” anymore?’ she eventually asked.

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