Page 128 of Destroying Everleigh

My hand tightened around the beer resting between my legs. I might have been young, but that didn’t excuse my stupidity. Why else would someone bring their grown child to play with a little kid? Dallas was my babysitter, meant to keep me occupied so I didn’t find out about what was really going on. And now he was fucking Everleigh.

I brought my drink to my lips, taking a long swig. The bitterness of the alcohol was nearly tasteless as I greedily drank more and more. Whatever was going on between him and Eviehad to stop. Even if I had to beat Dallas’s ass or kill that motherfucker, he wouldn’t touch her again if I had anything to say about it. He was a piece of shit. Eventually, she’d realize that too.

I’d like to think it was a one-time thing. But it was hard to believe that he’d have lingerie hand delivered to her if he never intended on seeing her again. He had her dress up for him like she was a fucking doll, and for some reason, she did just that for the bastard. I finished off my beer before throwing the bottle down on the floor. It shattered against the wood, spraying all over the damn place. But I couldn’t find it in myself to care. Instead, I reached for one of the extra bottles I brought up with me and twisted the cap off.

My dad was always a piece of shit. As a kid, I didn’t realize how bad of a person he was until he started putting his hands on me. To this day, I still wasn’t sure how long he’d been cheating on my mom. Or if Helen had been the only one he was seeing. Dallas started coming around when I was nine. So maybe somewhere around then. That would have made him sixteen. Still old enough to know better.

My mind flashed to Everleigh. She was all I ever thought about anymore. I missed her. Missed what we used to have. Enduring my father’s brutality was worth it when I had her in my life. Knowing that I’d get to see her and when I did, that she’d take care of my wounds—that she’d hug me and cry for me, that she’d let me pull her into my lap and sit like that for hours with me. Why couldn’t I have met her first? If I had, there was a high chance that none of this would have happened.

Somehow, she’d wormed her way so deeply beneath my skin that she had become my every reason for breathing, for wanting to move forward. Even now when I knew it could never become anything more. I was torn between what she put us through and what my heart wanted. If none of these other factors were atplay, I’d keep her forever. I’d fuck her, mark her, claim her,loveher the way she deserved. But none of that mattered. Because in the end, she still crossed that line and tore us apart. In the end, she was the one to break me.

So now, it was time to break her.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

Everleigh

From Ashes to New - Barely Breathing

Iwas on autopilot. A heavy weight in my chest as I navigated my way to breakfast. Maybe I should have eaten at home. Anything was better than having to endure the heated stares from other students boring into me. Since those posts about me from the anonymous user, people have been staring a lot more frequently. Some of them murmured ‘slut’ under their breath. Some couldn’t fathom why I’d cheat on Lucas. Some were even jealous. But it was all so complicated.

The days were getting harder and harder to get through. Loneliness trickled through my veins until it had burrowed so deeply inside of me that it was all I could feel. No friends, no lover, no family. Just people who wanted to hurt me and fuck me and then hurt me again.

I kept my head down, allowing my dark hair to hide everyone from view. I couldn’t bear to see their arrogant looks. Chatter was loud around me, but even through the commotion I could feelthemlooking. The three guys who had somehow weaseledtheir way into my heart while simultaneously making me despise them.

It wasn’t until I was safely in the lunch line that I lifted my head, suddenly wishing to God that I hadn’t. Amber was standing a few spots in front of me, a cold look on her face as she took me in. She hated me just as much as everyone else in my life did. Her maroon painted lips curled into a snarl and she was turning her back to me again, her burgundy hair swishing behind her shoulders.

A dull ache formed within my chest. I missed her so damn much. She’d probably never forgive me after what I did. Heat was steadily building behind my eyes, and I was half-tempted to ditch breakfast and run out to my car to wait for my class to start. But that would draw too much attention, and they’d know that I was crumbling. I couldn’t give them the satisfaction.

I collected a plate and filled it with random items, knowing I probably wouldn’t be able to eat a quarter of it. The scent of tater tots permeated the room, causing my stomach to grumble. I plucked one off my plate, popping it into my mouth. The crisp, salty flavor kissed along my tongue, making me groan out in satisfaction.

I started for the drink station and filled a styrofoam cup up with bitter coffee. Casting a glance around the room, my throat constricted with tension and nerves.

I didn’t even have anyone to sit with. Maybe I really was the problem. Why else would everyone be leaving me? Briley hated my guts, but that was mutual right now. Amber couldn’t even stand to look at me. I certainly wasn’t good enough for Lucas—not that it mattered much. There was always something missing between us. I’d known that from the beginning.

Steeling my spine, I marched out of the cafeteria. The warm sun grazed over me, a welcoming contrast to the chilly breeze. I slipped into my car, letting out a ragged breath. I didn’t realizehow important basic socialization was until it had been stripped from me. There was a hollowness in my chest, threatening to open wider and swallow me whole.

Quietly, I ate in silence, my mind no longer on the meal within my lap. My drink rested in the cup holder, the steam billowing from it. Tears stung my eyes as I watched groups of friends walk toward the cafeteria together. Their laughter was loud and contagious, slamming through the barrier of my vehicle just to reach my ears, as if the universe wanted to torture me even more.

Once my coffee had cooled enough, I raised the cup to my lips and took a long drink. It was absolutely disgusting and way too strong. I hadn’t even had the energy to add sugar or creamer to it. Not that it would have helped a whole lot anyway. On the plus side, it did feel good going down my throat.

I sucked in a ragged breath, attempting to calm my aching heart. How much more could I possibly take? What was my breaking point? When would it all be over? I’ve already lost everything. And while I’d really like to blame it on the guys, part of my loss came from my own bad decisions. That knowledge just frustrated me more. That wasn’t me. Right? I didn’t betray my friends or family. I wasn’t a selfish person.

But when it came to Ashton and Jameson, maybe even Kash now…

Fuck. I wanted to be selfish with them.

I wanted them all. Regardless of the bad blood between us. Regardless of how selfish it was that I couldn’t choose between them. I knew in reality that if we managed to get past whatever this was, I’d have to choose. But that was just a fantasy. There was no getting past this. Ashton made that abundantly clear. Still, I couldn’t shake the way the three of them made me feel. Ashton, with his domineering presence and ruthlessness. Despite our vast height and weight difference, he never treatedme like a fragile little doll. He owned me, possessed me, destroyed my body in the best of ways. Jameson was someone I could connect with on a deep, emotional level. His darkness called to mine, even more so now that I’ve actually experienced some of it myself. Then there was Kash…

My face heated at the latest reminder of what we did.

Kash opened up something inside of me I didn’t know existed. A kinkier side who wanted to indulge in all of his wildest fantasies. They were all rough in their own way. And I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to get enough even though I knew it would all come to a screeching halt when Ash finally snapped his fingers.

I finished my bitter coffee in peace, staring out at the variety of students walking back and forth across campus with their friends and romantic partners. Their life must be so simple. Only having to worry about drama, their relationship, and passing their classes.

With a lot of reluctance, I placed my plate in the passenger side of my car and returned the empty cup to the holder. I’d take care of it later. Maybe. I propped my car door open and stepped out onto the cement, allowing it to slam closed behind me.

My legs felt numb as I walked to the main building, the voices fading into the background around me.

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