Page 50 of Faking it with the Bad Boy Bikers

“Nell?” He stepped closer but froze when I flinched. “Nellie, what the hell happened?”

Seth walked out of the living room, frowning. “What’s going on?”

I wasn’t strong enough to face them full on. I’d been an idiot to think I could. I forced a smile but it felt brittle. “Nothing on my end. Here’s your pie!”

Waylan stepped out from behind me. “Mom? You sound weird.”

I knelt in front of her and lightly gripped her waist. “Aunt Vera called and asked if you wanted to visit. What do you think?”

“Yeah! Can the pack come?” She giggled and looked up at the men hovering over us. “We’re the pack now. We have a name.”

I licked my bone-dry lips and told myself I just needed to hold it together for a little while longer. “Maybe next time. Aunt Vera only invited us today.”

“I want to stay with the pack!” She inched away from me and put herself squarely in front of Henry and Seth. “We stick together, Mom.”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Plan B, then. “Okay. I’ll tell her we’ll see her later. You keep playing with the pack, okay? I’m going to go take a shower and fold some of the laundry you keep producing. Come and get me if you need anything. Got it?”

She hugged me so hard I fell back on my ass. Tears peppered my eyes but I fought them. As soon as she pulled away, I climbed to my feet and rushed upstairs before she could leave me alone with the guys. I was stripped naked and in the shower as fast as possible.

With the hot water pounding down on my head and shoulders I let the tears go. They quickly turned into sobs. It wasn’t just the guys’ betrayal. It was everything. Losing Virginia and Blade, losing the home I’d grown up in with them, facing my siblings, and even opening myself up again for sex and everything it brought with it. It was too much. I was falling apart.

It’d been easier when I had Virginia. If I needed a moment to cry and get over something she’d take Waylan and entertain her for me. I wasn’t sure how to come to that same understanding with someone new. Virginia had taught me how to parent Waylan. She understood my need for a break. I wasn’t sure anyone else would. They’d think I was a bad mother. Or that Waylan deserved better than a teen mom who had trouble regulating her emotions so that they didn’t all come out at once.

My knees were weak and I didn’t try to catch myself as they gave out. I just curled up against the shower wall and tucked myself into a tight ball. My chest hurt, the physical ache of losing the guys so real.

A noise drew my focus and I looked up in time to see Seth rip the shower curtain open. Before I had time to protest, he knelt in the shower in front of me and pulled me into his chest. The water hit him and soaked him but he didn’t act like he cared.

I tried to push him away but his grip tightened on me. “Stop. Stop fighting and let me hold you.”

All the strength in my arms failed me and I just went limp in his arms and sobbed even harder. It wasn’t fair. Why hadn’t they just fallen for me? Why hadn’t it been real?

“What happened, baby?” Seth whispered the words and stroked my hair. “Tell me and I’ll fix it.”

I pushed at him again and he let me break free that time. I climbed to my feet and rushed around Seth to get my towel. Holding it out in front of me protectively, I backed into the farthest corner away from him. Wiping at my eyes, I tried to stop crying for long enough to tell him to leave me alone.

“Nellie! Tell me what happened.” His voice went hard, done with trying to ease it out of me. He stood up and walked at me, pressing me into the wall. “Now.”

The words were like chewed up food flying out of my mouth before I could swallow. Gross and something I should’ve kept to my damn self. “They asked you to stay close to me.”

A part of me wanted to see confusion on his face. I wanted it all to be a big misunderstanding. He knew exactly what I was talking about.

“So, it’s true.” I growled as more tears leaked down my cheeks. “I’m an idiot.”

“Who told you that? Your brothers? They asked us to watch out for you but that’s not why—”

“Get out, Seth.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Please.”

“Let me fucking explain before you kick me out, goddammit.” He gripped my upper arms. “We were supposed to keep you out of trouble. That didn’t mean we had any plans on starting this with you. We didn’t plan this.”

I didn’t believe him. “Go.Please.”

Waylan ran into the bathroom and stopped when she saw me. “Mommy?”

I immediately sported a smile and swiped my face dry of tears. “Hey, baby!”

“Why are you crying?” She looked at Seth and her mouth turned down. “Did you make Mommy sad?”

I shook my head. “Of course not, Way. Seth is your friend.”

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