Page 46 of Faking it with the Bad Boy Bikers

“It just gets worse. I was frozen. I was just there, spread out, my entire hoo-hah exposed. She comes at me with her hand out and I can’t move, can’t lift my hand, or I know I’m going to pull a fainting goat and just fall back into the hot tub, where her son’s semen is floating, mind you! So, when she gets close enough, I just butted my head against her hand.” She covered her face and screamed into her hands. “And then she started talking about how much her feet ached from her long day and he suggested she soak them in the tub! And she did!”

Sugar stood up and squeezed her legs together. “I’m peeing myself! Oh, my god!”

“Wait! You haven’t heard the part that really killed me.” Ava looked around at each of us, aware she had us in the palm of her hand. “She gave me grooming advice. Said her son liked it bald, better. Then she offered to help me shave! And I’m pretty sure she was coming onto me because she told me to go get in her bed and spread my legs with this hungry look on her face. And he’s just in the tub, a complete and total pervert, and he looks at me and licks his lips and then…”

“God, tell us!”

“He asked if he could watch.” She doubled over. “But he didn’t ask me! He asked his mom!”

My mouth was wide open and I was just staring at her. I’d heard my share of dating horror stories but Ava’s took the cake. It took the whole bakery.

The room had gone silent after her last sentence and we were all lost in our own horror, but then Sugar giggled. “Well. Did you do it?”

Ava screamed again and we all burst into another round of laughter. Sugar ran out after that, saying she had to go change her panties. Then there was talk of whether we thought Steve was the man she was secretly sleeping with. Everyone turned to me with expectant looks on their faces.

I held up my hands. “I don’t know. Steve and I don’t normally share our bedroom secrets.”

“From what I hear, you haven’t seen much of a bedroom.” Bianca whistled and winked at me. “You’ve been a very busy woman, Nellie Hellstone.”

Vera clapped her hands. “Tell us everything. They’re huge, aren’t they?”

“Are you serious?” I shook my head at her.

“What? I’m writing them into my book. I need to know details for accuracy.” She grinned. “And I’m your sister. I just want to make sure you’re getting dicked down the right way. You know?”

“God, this is giving me flashbacks.” Ava stood up and walked over to the wall of dildos and vibrators. She picked up a larger one and held it to her chest. “This is all I’ll be doing from now on. I’m done with men.”

“We know a few women who are looking.” Meredith offered helpfully.

“I don’t want to know in a creepy incest way.” Vera growled. “I just want to make sure Nellie is getting screwed good enough that she can’t leave.”

“God didn’t bless me with an interest in women, unfortunately.” Ava pointed at Vera. “Your sister doesn’t walk the same as when she got into town. Those men are definitely hung like horses and fuck like gods. Unlike my momma’s boy who came before he even got close to my vagina.”

“I walk the same!” I thought I did. I mean… After a round with one of the guys, I did feel like I’d been riding horses all day long, but that didn’t mean I was walking funny. Did it? “Oh, god. I’m walking bowlegged, aren’t I?”

Bianca snorted. “I’m just saying we all feel a mixture of jealousy and sorry for your poor vagina. It’s clearly taking a beating.”

I stood up. “Stop talking about me. Talk about Ava having sex with that guy and his mom.”

Ava growled. “I did not have sex with his mom.”

“Because God didn’t bless you with any interest in women.” Meredith tried to hide her laugh and couldn’t.

“Because I’m not interested in incest! I hate everyone. Get out of my shop.” She was laughing as she said it. “I’m going to bill you all when I find a therapist.”

Everyone dispersed when we got outside, except for me and Vera. We stayed behind, smiling as we watched our little group of hellions leave.

She looked at me and gently punched my arm. “I’m so happy for you, Nellie.”

I groaned. “Don’t. I’m just having sex. Don’t start planning a wedding or matching nurseries, or whatever you’re thinking in that romantic head of yours.”

“Oh! Matching nurseries would be so cute!” She elbowed me and sighed happily. “I’m so happy you’re back, Nellie.”

“Me too.”

The same, slightly amused voice of Reed that came out of the shadows every week after our meetings, came from behind us.“Time to go home, spitfire. You’re tipping forward more and more each day.”

I’d noticed that, too. That baby belly was turning into a small car she had to carry around constantly.

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