Page 1 of Faking it with the Bad Boy Bikers

CHAPTER 1

Nellie

“Gross, Mom! Papa Jack just farted again!” Waylan waved her hand in front of her face while the accused, my fourteen-year-old cat, waved his tail back and forth in her face. “What are you feeding him?”

I caught a whiff of the stench and gagged. “Oh, god.”

“You’re gagging? He did it in my face! Roll the window down, Mom!” My gag triggered her gag and then her gag triggered another one from me. “Mom!”

I pulled over on the side of the back country road and shoved open the heavy door of my vintage car. I caught Papa Jack as he tried to escape and held the giant cat in my arms. “Come on, Way. Get out and get some fresh air.”

She was already climbing over from the back seat, her nose pinched shut. Waylan was like looking at an exact copy of me with her copper red ringlets and bright blue eyes. At that moment, both of our eyes were watering from all the fart smell and gagging. She stomped a few feet away from the car and put her hands on her hips. “Mom, Papa Jack needs to see a doctor.”

“A vet. And he doesn’t. He’s just a stinky guy. Isn’t that right, Papa Jack?” I scratched behind his ears and smiled when he started talking back in his little chirps. “Yeah, you’re just a stinky guy, aren’t you?”

“I’m going to get him back. I’m going to save up all of my farts for a week and then I’m going to fart right in his face.” She stomped her foot and narrowed her eyes at him. “I think he does it on purpose. He always looks at me right before he does it.”

I leaned in to see if the smell was gone and nodded at Waylan. “If you save up all your farts for a week, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon and you’ll float away. You want that? We’re clear to get back in now. In you go.”

She rolled her eyes. “Mom, that’s not true. I’m nine. That’s practically old enough to vote.”

I shuddered. “No, it’s not, and don’t you dare say that to me again. I’m enjoying you being nine. And then I’ll enjoy you being ten. And eleven.”

“And twelve and thirteen. I get it.” She climbed back into the backseat and pulled her seatbelt on. “Are we almost there?”

I made sure I was inside the car with the door closed before letting Papa Jack go. He hated the car and became an agile kitten at any chance of escape. “Yep. Just a few more minutes, actually.”

Another shudder went through me. I was back in Devil’s Den for the first time in a decade. I was just a few minutes from driving under the same metal sign I’d cursed on my way out all those years ago. That day, I hadn’t been sure I’d ever return. I hadn’t been sure of anything. I’d been a few days over sixteen and four months pregnant.

“Are you going to fart, too? You look funny, like you’ve got gas.”

I snorted and shook my head. “I don’t have gas. I just feel a little nervous. I haven’t been here in a long time.”

Waylan made an unhappy little sound. “We can go back home, Momma.”

I saw the Hellstone Ranch sign and stopped for a moment to close my eyes and take a deep breath. Waylan was a warrior. She’d been attempting to take care of me since she could walk, no matter how much I tried to stop her and convince her I was the caretaker. Everyone always found it hilarious but I just wanted my baby to be a baby. “I’m fine, baby. It’s okay to be nervous about things and still do them. Especially when they’re good for you.”

“And this is good for you?”

I forced a smile and nodded. “Since Nana Virginia and Grandpa Blade passed, I’ve missed having family close by.”

“But I don’t know these people.” She crossed her arms and frowned. “Do you even talk to them?”

I stared at the metal sign. “I haven’t in a long time. That doesn’t change anything, though. They’re family. You’ll get to know them.”

“Well. Go on, then.” Letting out a sigh which sounded like something a senior citizen would let out after a long life, she sat back and flashed me a quick smile. “As long as they have ice cream. I haven’t forgotten that you promised me ice cream.”

“Of course, you haven’t. If you forgot anything about ice cream, I’d worry you weren’t really my Waylan.”

I took a deep breath and turned onto the ranch. My stomach gurgled with nerves I forced myself to ignore. I couldn’t show an ounce of panic to Waylan or she’d decide she had to help me somehow. There was nothing she could’ve done, even if she wasn’t just a kid. The nerves I felt over being back on my family’s ranch weren’t going to be fixed until I saw my family again and knew whether or not they hated me. I hadn’t talked to any of them in the decade I’d been gone. I didn’t even know if any of my siblings would still be on the ranch. If only Mom and Dad were there to greet us, I was a little concerned about our reception. I was going to have Waylan wait in the car before I let them anywhere near them, though. I wasn’t going to let her be scarred in the way I had been.

I gasped as I drove over the hill that hid the main house from the road and saw more than two dozen cars parked everywhere. I could see there was some sort of party happening and the nerves in my stomach ratcheted up to panic. The one day I’d chosen to return home and there was a freaking party.

“Whoa. What’s going on?” Waylan yanked off her seatbelt and climbed into the front of the car as soon as I pulled to a stop at the back of the row of cars. “Are they having a party for us?”

Heat scorched my cheeks and I had to school my face to avoid showing the pain I felt. “No, baby, they don’t know we’re coming.”

She grunted, unbothered. “This party definitely has ice cream. It could be for someone’s butt and I’d still go if there was ice cream.”

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