Page 85 of Beltane

“What’s on your mind?” Ivy twisted her head so she rested her chin on my sternum and looked up at me with a grin.

Nostalgia overwhelmed me, and my thoughts went to much younger versions of us standing in a loft in Georgetown, just figuring out our powers for the first time. She’d entered my head and felt my emotions for the entirety of our lives together.

“Remember how you used to be afraid what we had wasn’t real?” I kissed her temple, squeezing her tighter when her muscles relaxed against me. “That I would go back to hating you once the gift went away.”

She hummed an affirmative noise. “Yes, I remember.”

I dropped my hand to her belly, rubbing the spot where she carried my child…ourchild. “All these years later and pregnant with a Fairfax heir, how do you feel now?”

“My inner teenager is screaming in mortification.” She grinned as I laughed, touching my forehead to hers. “But I’m happy with how our life turned out. Aren’t you?”

I nodded, but that sense of missing something rose again, like the last puzzle piece hadn’t pushed into place yet, like it was just over the horizon, taunting us with being out of reach.

What are we missing?

“What’s wrong, Lucifer?” Ivy rubbed my cheek, forcing me to look her in the eyes. “Are you letting regrets eat at you?”

“No, I just—Don’t you miss it? Don’t you miss the gift and the connection and being able to pick through people’s minds?”

She sighed and licked her lips, drawing my gaze to her perfect mouth. “Sometimes. But if that means I lose any of you or have to fight a fairy king again, I’d rather live without it.”

Taking a deep inhale, I let her reassurance sink into my skin and tried to adopt that attitude. We had survived. That was supposed to be enough. I had sacrificed my life with them to save them. Shouldn’t I be grateful that Diana had sent me back here at all?

Once, long ago, I wished Ihaddied instead of my brother, and now I had a family of my own. It was my dream become a reality, my true north, the one vision that kept me going all these years. It was everything I’d ever wanted. It should have been enough.

“I thought I saw Siobhan at the wedding today.” She pursed her lips and glanced out toward the woods, almost as if she could will our fairy friends to appear out of the tree line like they once had. “I took Donnelly to change and I could have sworn she was there. I called out for her, but she didn’t answer.”

“What do you think it means?” I held her tighter, needing her strength as much as she needed mine.

Ivy shook her head. “That I’ve been working too hard and the pregnancy hormones are starting to fuck with me.”

I chuckled, still delighted with her sense of humor after all these years. “Do you think you’ll crave chocolate ice cream and sauerkraut like our princess?”

“Ugh.” She stepped back and shook her head, pretending to gag. “Don’t remind me.”

I opened my mouth to tease her about Carter’s breeding kink, but stopped when our spouses appeared behind us.

“It’s time,” Miri said, moonlight twinkling in her eyes, a hint of mischief on her lips.

“Time?” Ivy furrowed her brows and stepped away from me, glancing at Carter. “Time for what?”

Our husband shrugged. “She woke me up and told me to get moving.”

“Trust me,” Miri said, holding a basket in one hand as she descended the stairs and walked toward the trees.

“Juliet,” Carter said, toting after her like a lost puppy. “Where are you going?”

“Just come along,” she said. “I’ve got an idea.”

I glanced at Ivy, who raised her eyebrows and followed. Against most of the logical thoughts telling me not to wander into the forest in the middle of the night on Midsummer, I turned and went with them.

* * *

MIRI

It was not a sham marriage.

We were in love, all of us, all together. We were always meant to be a four.