Page 70 of Beltane

“Will I see you lurking under the maid’s mattresses, trying to lick their feet?”

Hysterics took me over, and for the first time in months, I found myself grateful for one thing. If I had to have a kindred spirit stuck in this royal hellhole with me, I was overjoyed it was Edward.

Perhaps he had a point. Perhaps I’d been too emotional the day I left them. Perhaps going with no contact had been more separation than necessary. Perhaps I’d made a terrible mistake, and now I’d come too far down the rabbit hole to fix it.

I would have to marry Reginald, if only to save my pride.

“You deserve to be happy. So be happy.”

Lex wouldn’t have wanted this for me. He wanted me to go home, to live the rest of my life with Carter and Ivy. That was what he sacrificed himself for.

Was I besmirching Lex’s memory by marrying Reginald and leaving the others?

I didn’t know. And Lex wasn’t here, so who cared? Carter and Ivy would have each other, and me…I would let them.

27

Carter

“Seriously, Carter,” Lizzie said. I could practically see her eyes rolling through the phone. “I’m fine. Mom’s fine. Everyone’s fine.”

I wanted to believe her, but being kidnapped by a maniacal fairy king and put under his enchantment for however long would fuck anyone up. She wouldn’t talk about it, only to say that she and Jon had spent the time in the same mental capacity, and she needed space to process it. I wasn’t sure what that meant, but Jon wouldn’t speak of it, either. I figured it probably wasn’t my business.

“You keep saying that word,” I teased, “but I’m starting to question if you know what it means.”

“I have to go.” She sounded…well…fine. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“All right, Lizzie Bizzie.”

She chuckled softly. “Stop calling me that. Love you, big brother.”

“Love you.” I hung up and pursed my lips, staring out the window of the penthouse apartment we’d rented on the outskirts of DC. The lights from downtown twinkled in the distance, the monuments to Ivy’s ancestors bright against the night sky.

I listened to Weeds rumbling around in her office opposite our primary bedroom and hung my head, knowing I’d have to physically go get her to make her eat. How had Lex done this for so long—watched as she withered away, stood idly by while she worked herself to nothing?

She hadn’t wanted to go back to the house she’d shared with Lex, and I couldn’t blame her. There were too many memories there, too many long nights and longer mornings.

We’d stayed in Killwater for only a day after Miri left, but other than that one passage about the queen’s favor, we didn’t find anything helpful. Lex was gone. Miri was gone. And we were broken.

So we came home.

A few days after arriving in the States, I’d called my agent to announce the end of my filming career, and after everything I’d told her about my twisted, fucked-up backstory, she had agreed I needed some R & R. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever go back to the industry or if I ever wanted to.

Now, a full six weeks later, the entire world knew. We had disappeared for three months, only to come back without Lex Fairfax and no explanation as to what had happened. The media wanted answers, his family had threatened to press charges, and all we could say was no comment.

How were we supposed to tell the truth?

Ivy’s chief of staff, Giana, had advised us to keep our mouths shut until Lex returned, and that was what we did. Weeds agreed to a remote re-entry at Congress, I put my career on hiatus, and we hid here together, rarely venturing outside.

Trying to continue with life did not heal the huge hole in my heart where Lex and Miri used to be. She didn’t even say goodbye, and that broke me more than anything else she’d ever done.

She was my best friend, and this absence hurt more than the last.

Neither Ivy nor I could speak about it, so we didn’t.

We woke up. She went to her office for fourteen hours, and I played housewife until she eventually emerged to eat. We tried to fuck, decided we couldn’t, and ultimately passed out together in front of the television. Once, a long time ago, I’d imagined a life with her similar to this. I imagined our last names smushed together in matrimony, a white picket fence with a golden retriever barking in the yard, and two-point-five little Washington kids running around.

Four years ago, I thought I hadn’t been good enough for her. I thought I needed to prove myself. I’d been a fucking idiot. Fortunately, I had literal luck on my side or I might never have made it this far. And now that I was here, I didn’t even enjoy it.

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