Page 68 of Beltane

“No, I suppose not—not until I’d lived the experience myself.” He sighed and shook his head. “Honestly, Miri, don’t you think you’re being a tad ridiculous?”

I scoffed and balked at the suggestion. “How so?”

“It’s obvious you miss them terribly.”

“Bleeding hell, not this again.”

“Yes, this again.” Edward reached across the table to take my hand, squeezing my palm in solidarity. “You can’t marry the prince of Monaco.”

“Well, it’s entirely too late for that, isn’t it?” The wedding had been set for two weeks from now, and there would be no delaying it any longer. Because I’d run off so many times, the prince had gotten impatient with my flightiness. Now, he insisted on having my name attached to his as soon as possible. I didn’t have a choice. I never had.

I’d be the royal princess consort of Monaco in a fortnight, and damn the consequences.

It didn’t matter that I closed my eyes and all I thought about was them. It didn’t matter that they haunted my dreams, and every night, I was back at those ruins with Lex, Ivy, and Carter. I loved them, I did, but this was about more than love. This was about duty and honor and?—

Bloody hell.

Even I didn’t believe my propaganda anymore. Compared to dying and coming back to life, none of this mattered. Compared to losing Lex, this was a trivial game. Hell, I even missed Poppy. She’d betrayed us at the end and sold our family members to the king for her own purposes, but I had loved her. The loss of her amplified what had already been there.

I thought again about the fury in Ivy’s gaze when I left, how angry she’d been when I turned to go. She wouldn’t want me back. Not now. Not after I left them the way I had.

No. No, it was the right thing to do. I couldn’t go on like that. Lex didn’t want us to. He wanted us to be happy.

At times like this, when I questioned every decision I’d ever made, I could almost hear his snide, sarcastic voice whispering,Are you happy? Does all this make you happy?

I feared the answer was no and always would be for as long as I stayed away from my beloveds.

“Please, distract me,” I said, cutting off that line of thought. “You were going to tell me about your experience.”

“Oh…uh.” Edward’s cheeks turned an uncharacteristic shade of rosy pink, the tips of his ears damn near crimson. “There’s not much to tell, I’m afraid.”

I narrowed my eyes at that. “You were under the king’s mind control for nearly two weeks. Surely, there’s something.”

“It was like…an alternate reality. Like we were living as normal people.”

“We?”

“Katherine and me.” Edward cleared his throat and took another sip of tea, distinctly avoiding my gaze.

“Katherine?”

“Kit,” he corrected. “Though, I much prefer her full name.”

“I didn’t realize you had opinions about her name.” I raised my eyebrows at him.

“Miri”—Edward ran his fingers over his forehead and scowled, glancing out the window to the gardens below—“we were living together for quite some time.”

Uh-oh.That sounded ominous.

“How long?”

He winced before looking back at me. “I can’t be sure.”

“What do you mean you were living together?”

Edward’s lost expression reminded me of when we were children and his first dog had passed away from old age. He seemed scared and unsure, devoid of his usual confident swagger. “We were roommates, I suppose.”

“And?”

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