Page 47 of Beltane

I stared at Lex, a sick finality landing in my stomach. He knew more than he said, and whatever he was keeping to himself, it wasn’t good. Blinking back tears, I shoved it to a corner of my mind to dissect later and focused on the present.

The last time we’d sat in a fairy tent eating dinner, we’d spent the entire night reminiscing. Tonight was supposed to be about raising the sensual energy of our spirit, whatever that meant. Siobhan suggested we spend it like it was our last night together, and the thought ached so much, I couldn’t stand it.

“Miri,” Lex said, biting into a piece of turkey, “what is one thing you’re looking forward to once this is over?”

Our princess cut her eyes to me for a moment before returning to her food, picking at a piece of fruit to bring it to her lips for a nibble. She shook her head and huffed out a laugh. “I suppose…the new season ofHanging with the Hiltons.”

I chuckled at the simplicity of her answer. “I can’t believe you watch that shit.”

“Oh, it’s absolutely deplorable.” She bit her bottom lip, her cheeks turning a bright shade of blush. “But I can’t help myself.”

“Me neither,” Carter said, smiling at everyone. “Last season was wild.”

Lex grinned, eyeing me across the table with that wolfish expression. Since the beginning of all this, I hadn’t had a moment to simply stop, to pause and consider what would happen once I didn’t have this to worry about anymore. In the last week alone, I’d trashed my wedding, invaded my mother’s mind, fought off a fairy king, traveled across the Atlantic, and healed the fairy queen. I’d survived…we’dsurvived.

“Carter,” Lex said, cutting into a potato with his fork. “What about you? One thing you’re looking forward to.”

Carter brought the chalice to his lips to sip his wine while he considered, placing a finger over his lips and swallowing. “Retirement.” He glanced at me, reaching out to take my hand. “Being Ivy’s stay-at-home husband.”

Lex barked out a laugh. “That role is already filled, I fear.”

“Fine, then I can be Miri’s stay-at-home companion.” Carter winked at her, causing a blush to radiate up Miri’s neck and into her cheeks.

“Hmm.” Lex liked that answer. He drained the rest of his cup, poured another round for all of us from the bladder on the side of the table, and then sat back in his seat while he assessed me. “Ivy.”

“I’d rather hear your answer.” I stabbed a potato with my fork and brought it to my mouth, choking down the savory tuber.

Lex pursed his lips and tilted his head to the side, perhaps trying to figure out my angle. But, of course, my motives were always the same with him—search and destroy.

He leaned forward and put his elbows on the table, steepling his fingers over his cup. “I’m looking forward to having children.”

I froze and stared at him, chalice halfway to my lips. We had talked about kids before, but never in any concrete sense. Not like this, not with fire in his eyes and determination in his voice.

“Yeah?” Carter’s smile lit up his whole face.

“Yeah,” Lex said with a sparkle in his hazel stare. “I have this vision in my head of what our future looks like. I want Miri in her garden and Carter chasing around our kids, and it doesn’t fucking matter who gave birth to which ones because they’re ours…all of them. They’re all a bunch of little Stuart-Scott-Washington-Fairfaxes.”

Miri made a sad laugh, wiping at an eye when a tear slipped out and slid down her cheek. I remembered this image, I’d seen it during our four-year fairy curse. It was Lex’s true north, the deep-seated motivation that kept him going, that peeled him off the floor when he thought he had no more fight left in him. It was this imaginary future that had gotten us this far. He wanted a family with all of us, he wantedhis ownfamily.

“We could change our names,” Carter said. “Pick something we all like.”

“Move to the cabin, live in the woods.” Miri took a drink of wine, her tone wistful and light. “Isn’t that a pretty picture?”

“What’s stopping us?” Lex asked, glancing between us.

Carter hung his head between his shoulders and sighed. “What exactly are you suggesting, DC? That Ivy quit Congress? That Miri run out on the prince of receding hairlines?”

“Don’t be cruel.” Miri hid her wince, pretending not to be hurt, but even I felt the sting on that one.

“You’re quitting your sexy primetime television show,” Lex said. “We can’t do the same?”

“I want to leave the family.” Miri kept her voice soft and low, but pain echoed in those words regardless. “I want to stay with you.”

“I would love you to.” Lex’s brilliant gaze snapped to her. “We can use the media against them. Tell our story our way. You can be the duchess of Aberdeen and married to us.”

“No, Lex. They’ll disown?—”

“Yes, Miri. Who the fuck says you can’t?”

---