Page 30 of Beltane

Lex had never been as mean to me as he was to everyone else. Despite our on-again, off-again thing in college, he’d never done to me the things he reveled in doing to others. It had always made me feel special, unique in a way no one else could ever be. Lex Fairfax hated the world and everything in it…except for me.

Of course, that wasn’t still true. Now, Lex admitted how much he loved Carter and Ivy, and that turned me on even more. I loved watching him with our spouses. It reminded me of how special our relationship was and how much love he had to give in general. For a boy who once wished it had been him that died instead of his brother, he now knew such profound affection he’d had no choice but sink into it like a hedonist.

I dragged my nails down his back, adding that spice of pain that got him off, and he moaned, arching into the touch before grinning and kissing me again. Holding himself up with one hand, he reached into my curls with the other, tugging my head back so he could nibble on my jaw.

“So greedy for me, huh?” he said.

I nodded and licked his bottom lip, relishing in my own delight when he hissed in a gasp and grumbled low in his chest.

“God, I fucking missed you.”

A desperate yearning rose up inside of me, an emptiness that only he could set right. I needed Lex to reset my equilibrium, to remind me what it was to be withhim,the one who had shaped me and molded me in a million different ways.

“Please, Lex,” I whimpered.

“Please, what?” he said, brushing his nose over mine again. “Tell me what you need.”

“I need you, please.” I sounded desperate and needy, even to my own ears. My hands dropped to his hips, tugging him tighter against me, and I ground harder against him, tilting just right.

“I need you, too,” he said, reaching between us so he could position himself at my entrance, and when he surged home, a wave of rightness crashed over me, pulling me in, reminding me of why I’d sworn a vow to him in the woods all those years ago. Lex was mine, plain and simple. And I was his. And we were theirs.

“Fuck,” he murmured, falling forward onto his forearms, his torso trembling on top of me. “I missed this. I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.” I wrapped my arms around his chest, holding him as close as I could, and he kissed my neck and buried himself in my hair, breathing me in like he couldn’t believe I was real…like any second, he might wake up and find himself alone in his bed. I, likewise, memorized everything about the present—his pine-forest scent and how he whimpered in my ear. I focused on the curve of his cheekbones, the way they sloped down and became his jaw, and how beautiful he was in the moonlight.

We fit together, and it had always felt right, so very right. He fucked me like he owned me, like I was the most expensive and decadent thing in the world. He lavished attention on all the bits he knew I liked the best, and when the pressure built in my nerves, when I begged him to speed up and go harder, he obliged. Lex knew how to take me, how to bring me right to the brink, until he finally pushed me off the edge. I floated into outer space.

He met me there a few moments later, panting and cursing his way through his climax. Eventually, he collapsed on top of me, and I kissed his temple, holding him tighter and running my fingers through his hair.

“I love you,” I murmured one last time. “Until the end.”

He didn’t say it back, just lifted his head and gave me a slow, gentle kiss. “You better fucking mean that.”

I did.

11

Miri

The closer we got to Killwater, the more uneasy I became. Fear lined the inside of my stomach like lead, pulling me down into the watery depths of near hysteria. The last time we’d come here, the trees warned me we would find nothing but chaos in Faerie, and that was exactly what happened. We should have listened to them.

“Imagine a sanctuary,” Donnelly said, bringing me back to the present. We were currently on the tail end of a three-hour drive from Dublin to Killwater, where the lieutenant had taken the opportunity to teach Ivy and me those mental barriers. “One surrounded by a shield only you can manipulate. It could be anything…a stone wall, a field of thistles, a deep body of water. It should be personal to you.”

The thistles had worked to keep the king and the queen out for some time, until they didn’t. A symbol of House Stuart, I’d always identified with the plant. It had thorns and grew so fast it was nearly untamable, but when it bloomed in bright magentas, maroons, and whites, it reminded me that even grumpy, spiky things could be beautiful. Even weeds had their purpose.

Today, I envisioned a stone tower sitting atop a seaside cliff, like the ones near Aberdeen, the ones where ancient kings put their forts so everyone who visited knew they held the highest position of power in the area. It looked out over the ocean so the only way to penetrate would be from the front. I’d see anyone coming days before they attacked.

The walls were solid stone, the kind my ancestors had used to build their immortal monuments to conquest. No one could get through, not without laying a siege that would last a lifetime.

“Focus on reinforcing those shields,” Donnelly continued, his voice like honey as it washed over me. “Make this place as sacred to you as you can, so that you can come here whenever you feel him breaking through.”

“Mental manipulation is about making that person think what you want them to think,” Siobhan said. “If the king invades, go to your safe space. He won’t be able to break through, and you won’t have to worry about which memories you’ll reveal to him.”

“It’s that simple, huh?” Ivy snorted out a disbelieving laugh. “I would have thought I’d be better at this after all these years.”

“I’ve lived for centuries, and I’m still learning how to reinforce my mental walls,” Finn said from the driver’s seat.

I glanced in the third row to find Diana and Poppy huddled together. They hadn’t said much since we got off the plane, but after everything they’d been through, I didn’t expect them to be particularly loquacious.

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