“You think no one notices,” Carter said. “But I do.”
My heart pounded. “Notices what?”
“How selfless you are,” he said. “How you bring out the best in everyone you love.”
I rolled my eyes. “That’s you, Romeo.” I tickled his ribs, making him squirm away and giggle and try to tickle me in return. It turned into a slapfight, right there in the front seat. Me hitting at his hands, him trying to grab my wrists to stop me.
I laughed and laughed while we playfully smacked at each other, the song shifting to “She’s Got You” in the background. It was the lightest I’d felt in weeks, and when Carter grabbed a hold of my wrists, he yanked me until our faces were inches apart.
The mood shifted instantly.
His exhales coasted across my cheeks, and I shivered from the heat radiating off his body. His dark indigo eyes bounced between mine, perhaps looking for permission for what he wanted to do next. I wanted to let him. Even though guilt snaked around my poor pathetic heart like a python, I wanted to tug him closer and pull him down on top of me and demand he take me in my uncle’s status symbol.
I loved Lex and I loved Ivy, but there was something about Carter…something about his love for them and their love for him that had me tearing off a chunk of my soul to trust in his safekeeping.
Tires pulled up next to us, and I broke away from him.
“Miriam! Miriam!” someone shouted. Bright lights flashed in my face and bodies swarmed the car on either side.
“Get us out of here,” I said. “Go, go, go!”
More cameras flashed. More questions. More paparazzi.
Carter shoved the car in reverse and backed up, pulling out onto the 101 to take us home.
“Fucking vultures!” he shouted, shifting the car into third.
The scenery whooshed by us, my scarf long since yanked down to my shoulders. My wild curls whipped around my face, the rush of going fast rising in me. But it wasn’t a good rush, not like a roller coaster. No. This was worse. Ever since the accident, I’d dreaded driving, even more so when the driver couldn’t keep it under the speed limit. I didn’t like chases, and I definitely didn’t like the paparazzi tailing us so closely.
It brought back flashbacks of that day—the sickening crunch, my mother’s screams, the terrifying nothingness, blinking awake in the patch of grass far away from my dead family.
“Carter,” I managed to say, my breathing coming in heavy pants, my vision narrowing. “Carter.” I tried again, but my mouth wouldn’t work. I grabbed his arm, the one he used to shift gears, and my nails clamped into his skin. “Slow down. Please.” I barely whispered the words. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think.
Slow down.
Slow down.
Carter stopped the car, and when he yanked on the parking brake, I sighed in relief because we were back in my garage. Behind the closing doors. Away from prying eyes. He wrapped his strong arms around me, pulling my torso to him, unclicking my seat belt so he could tug me into his lap. My knees went to either side of his hips, and even though it was a tiny space, he squeezed me to him so tight, so secure, that nothing would ever hurt me again.
Tears streamed down my face, deep heavy sobs coming from a bottomless abyss in my chest. I let it all out, everything I’d been holding on to since the wreck, since the breakup, since we’d come here. He held me through it, rubbing my back, saying sweet soothing words to me.
“It’s okay, Juliet,” he said. “You’ve still got me.”
I pulled back and stared down at him through tear-blurred vision. I must have looked like a mess—wild hair, red eyes, snotty nose. He rubbed his thumbs over my cheeks and smiled, leaning up to press a chaste kiss to my lips.
I’d kissed Carter dozens of times before, but this was different. It was sweet and told me he had my back, no matter what. At that moment, I swore I’d have his until I died.
All we have is us.
The kiss turned more passionate, and Carter twisted his fingers in my hair, tugging me closer, and I dug my nails into his shoulders, holding him firm underneath me.
My pelvis rocked against his, my clit suddenly pulsing as it rubbed over the thickening length in his pants.
We shouldn’t do this, some part of me thought. This isn’t right. But God, it felt right, like the only thing I needed in the world. Ivy had broken up with him, broken up with both of us. So had Lex. Were we free to now have each other?
The thought made me break away with a gasp, touching my lips as I stared down at Carter.
“We shouldn’t do this,” I murmured.