"No, sweetheart, I'm don't want to be a burden."
I press her hand gently. “You're not a burden to me, Mom, you're not well."
Aunt Scarlett places her hands on my shoulders. "Your mom is in good hands. Go out, have drinks, talk."
My friends are already getting ready to leave. "Nice seeing you, Laura," they say to my mom.
"I really don't want to leave you, mom."
My mom starts to say something, then coughs, and I hold my breath. She clasps her hand to her chest, then it takes a while. "Please go out, Cari. Have a nice dinner and catch up with your friends. I’m fine, sweetheart, and I’ll still be here tomorrow.”
Reluctantly, I stand. “And every day after that,” I whisper, fighting the bittersweet ache rising in my chest.
Aunt Scarlett hands me my coat. “We made tacos. I’ll save you some for tomorrow.”
I kiss them both and leave, my heart heavy but full.
They don’t know about Rory yet. I expect my mom will be upset to learn that I broke up with him. She’s worried about me being alone and that I need someone to get through this with.
This being her illness, and someone being Rory.
But I have my group of women who I love. And they are enough.
***
I wait until we've finished our pizza and ordered dessert.
Bianca regales us with a rundown of her day at the thrift shop she works at, and the interesting characters she often meets. Eliana is drinking lots of wine. As a freelance graphic designer, she’s often stressed about finding clients, and then doing the best job she can for them, so that they’ll call her fortheir next project. She’s just finished a project and is slowing down and relaxing. Probably looking forward to our long weekend away. I feel bad for the news I’m about to deliver.
“I can’t come with you guys to the Catskills,” I blurt, setting my glass down with a clink.
Bianca pauses mid-sip of her beer, her nose ring catching the light. Eliana raises an eyebrow while clutching her wine glass.
“You what now?” Her dark, mesmerizing eyes widening with shock.
“I broke up with Rory.” I feel a sense of relief in telling them. They both stare, then erupt into questions and exclamations. They say all the right things, but don't seem particularly surprised. They're more sad that I can't join them on the weekend away.
“I can’t say I’m surprised,” Bianca says, crossing her arms. “That guy never deserved you.”
Eliana nods. “Why didn’t you tell us sooner?”
“I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it,” I mumble. “He just … wasn’t there for me. Not with everything going on.”
“He’s always been self-centered,” Bianca says.
"I won't miss Rory," Eliana says, "If I'm being honest."
"He was nice enough," I say. “But he wasn’tenough. I needed more from him.” I broke up with him over the phone. I'd had another difficult day at the office, and Aunt Scarlett told me mom had been throwing up and could barely get out of bed. I called Rory because I needed him. I needed him to lean on, but he mumbled something about hoping my mom would get better, then said he had to go because he was running late for squash.
“You’ve got us, babe.” Bianca sets down her spoon and clasps her hand over mine.
“Yeah, you’ve got us and you’re never getting rid of us,” Eliana chimes in. "You think Jett Knight will come in and save the day?" She winks at me.
Bianca giggles.
I groan as they exchange a knowing look before collapsing into laughter. “Don’t start.”
Bianca grins. “Imagine him in the Catskills. Hiking boots, campfire stories…”