Page 49 of Embracing Love

~ ~

She was almost done with setting up in the conference room.

‘Save changes?’ The question on her laptop screen asked, causing her to panic. She selected ‘Yes’.

What changes had she made? She couldn’t remember.

And that’s when she knew her day was going downhill faster than an Olympic skier.

The room began to fill up and she smiled as people slowly walked in, even though her breaths hitched in her throat.

They looked fresh, expectant, hopeful.

And she felt a wave of nausea drench over her.

Shit shit shit shit shit.

“Hey,” Nadine strolled up to her, looking effortlessly graceful in her peach colored shift dress. It made Tanya’s blue skirt and jacket, teamed with a stiff white shirt look positively dowdy.

“Hey.” She fiddled around with her mouse, the damn thing glitched every now and then and she’d been meaning to get IT to have a look at it. The presentation was due to start in…she glanced at her watch…seven minutes.

“Are you alright?” Nadine asked her, looking worried.

“I hate being first. I don’t think I’m prepared enough.” Just making the admission made her feel one percent better. Her insides, already mush, now threatened to climb up her throat.

She inhaled deeply, tried to remember Louise Hay’s affirmations:

You are surrounded by love

I wish

All is well

It isn’t

I am comfortable

I am not

My self-esteem is high

It’s never been lower

She used to be a pro at doing these things. A seasoned veteran whom others sought out because of her awesome presentation skills.

“You’re probably over prepared and getting antsy for no reason.” Nadine spoke quietly, and when Tanya glanced behind she saw that the room was now full.

Melissa sat at the back patiently, smiling back at her.

Tanya’s throat felt as though sand had been poured down it. She coughed and saw that Michael Zimmerman, Russell Trent and Gabriel sat in the first row. They gave her a polite nod when her gaze swept over them.

Gabriel’s eyes locked with hers, then lingered over her face.

Oh god. Is this what a panic attack felt like?

“I don’t think I can do this,” she whispered to Nadine.

“Hey,” Nadine moved closer, reached out with her hand to reassure her. “You can do this. Its nerves, but you’ve done this a million times before with your eyes shut. You taught me. I learned from the best. Now go get them. Half an hour. And we’ll celebrate in the lobby when you can tell me what’s really bugging you.”

---