Page 72 of Reclaiming Love

Chapter 40

“When exactly did you break up with him?” His voice was sharper than he’d intended, as the look of hurt in her eyes confirmed.

He could tell from the look of her, that she hadn’t slept well either. The rich, smooth aroma of coffee and pastries did nothing to lift the air of gloom that hung over them.

“I wanted to break up before Christmas, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell him.”

“Why not?” These questions had circled around his mind until the early hours. He wanted to make sure he had all the answers today.

“Because he is a …” She paused, as if searching for her words. “He’s a controlling guy. I didn’t think so at first. It was something that I came to notice the more time went on. I’d already decided, even before I went home for Christmas. But we didn’t see each other before then or rather I avoided meeting him, because I knew he’d get annoyed. He was angry with me for going home for Christmas anyway. I didn’t want to upset things more by breaking up with him, not before Christmas. I mean, that would be cruel.”

“When did you? Break up?”

The way she looked at him made him relent a little but he so hated the lying, so hated being in the dark about things which concerned him. Even though this was different, this was nothing like how things had been with Bree—he and Melissa had no relationship —just some heavy making out as a barometer of what they had felt for one another, once.

There was no real reason for him to even feel betrayed in this situation.

But he couldn’t deny that he’d had feelings for her. She’d bolstered him through these last few months, without knowing that she had, so for him to now find out that it had all been based on lies was a betrayal of sorts.

She’d hurt him.

“I told him the first day we got back to work after Christmas. We work at the same place—”

“You work together?”

“Yes,” she answered, her whispered confession erecting another barrier between them. She used to see him every morning—how could she have failed to mention her boyfriend? Noah shook his head softly. You lied to me the entire time.

“Go on,” he demanded, his insides sinking as he crumpled further into the chair.

“The day before New Year’s Eve I told him things between us weren’t working out and that I didn’t think we should be together. But he turned up on my doorstep later that same evening pleading for me to rethink things. He couldn’t accept that I wanted to break up. He suggested that maybe I needed some time apart—to help me to reconsider. So…” She paused to glance at him, to check if he was listening. He nodded, and she continued, in that same quiet, whispered hush of hers.

Like the whispered words she’d said to him that night she lay in his arms. He scrubbed his hands across his face, willing himself to forget that night with her.

“So I told him—because I didn’t want the drama of a scene on New Year’s that we could have a break, but I was hoping things would slowly fade between us and disappear. I think I hoped he would worm his way back into the dark, miserable place he’d crawled out from.” She looked down at her feet when she said the last words.

Noah heard her, and the quiet anger in her voice was not lost on him. This wasn’t the Melissa he knew—the girl he’d kissed and welcomed the New Year in with. He edged forward in his chair, wondering what it was her ex had done to her. He wanted to move closer to her, wanted to comfort her but forced himself to stay where he was.

“You haven’t drunk your coffee,” he told her, lifting his cup to his mouth.

She waved it away and continued talking. “I went out with Heather and I met you at Zoot. And when I saw you, when we talked, away from the coffee shop, just having the chance to have you to myself for the whole evening and find out everything about you, I knew for sure then that Matt was my past—and that”—she paused again—“and that no matter what happened between us—between you and me”—she glanced at him—“I didn’t want to be with someone who made me feel so low.” She lifted her eyes to him once more. “When I met you, you made things good for me. You made me laugh when he’d torn my self-esteem to shreds. You seemed to care, whereas he didn’t. Not about me, as a person. I was more of a plaything.”

She closed her eyes, and for the first time he began to see that the vulnerability, the times he’d seen her in the coffee shop in the mornings, those times she’d looked sad and a thousand miles away—her boyfriend had been the reason why.

She’d never mentioned her boyfriend back then. Something told him that his first impressions of Matt had been spot on, and that his first impressions of Melissa had been fairly accurate too. That maybe he’d been right in thinking she didn’t fit the mold of a two-timing bitch out to hurt him or anyone else. She was gentle, kind and sensitive. And she was hurting right now.

But he still didn’t have all the answers.

“Why, if you’d told him you wanted a break, did you go to his room on New Year’s day? Christ, Melissa, after we’d spent the night before being so close.” Anger rose in his voice.

“Don’t you see?” she started.

Remembering Matt shirtless, and following her from his bedroom, no he couldn’t goddamn well see. “No, I don’t see at all,” he replied calmly, his mouth pursed together.

“I’d let him think we were having time apart, a break. But after you and I got together, there was no doubt in my mind. I couldn’t just wait for time to pass and for things between him and me to fade. I had to go and tell him. I had to drum it into that thick head of his.”

“And so?” You went to his apartment and had sex with him instead? Noah gripped his coffee cup harder and waited for her answer.

She swallowed. “I thought I’d discuss it away from a public place. The last time I told him in the lobby at work and he almost made a scene. He can get nasty.” Her eyes betrayed fear.

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