Page 40 of Reclaiming Love

Chapter 23

“At least try to enjoy tonight.” Heather stopped curling her eyelashes long enough to direct her attention to Melissa. “I plan to,” Melissa said, knowing her friend was still mad at her for letting Matt in and listening to him.

But today they weren’t going to talk about any of that. Or argue about Matt. Today was a day to celebrate.

“I don’t want you thinking about that jerk either,” Heather warned her.

Melissa nodded. “I’m not going to waste my time.” She stared at her reflection. She was going to make the most of this “break.” She’d figure out later how she was going to phase Matt slowly out of her life. She had no plans ever to go back to him—he’d come to see that in time but right now she pushed that whole mess to the back of her mind.

“We’re going to have a great time. You’re going to have a great time.” She started curling her lashes again.

Melissa ran the brush through her hair. She was determined to start the new year well and wished she’d bumped into Noah again this morning. On her lowest days, the sight of him always lifted her spirits. She‘d gone early, hung around a bit longer, had thought about sitting in the coffee shop, waiting for him while pretending not to.

And in the end she chickened out. What if after all of this he had a girlfriend? What if he had plans for tonight? She’d feel like a complete idiot.

Going to work today had been a complete waste of time anyway; there hadn’t been a soul in sight. Nadine had already left for Santa Barbara to see her parents and Melissa had spent the day reorganizing her workspace instead. She’d done an end of year clean up and hoped that she wouldn’t see Matt at any time in the course of the day.

After the drama of yesterday, there had been no question of staying in on New Year’s Eve. Not that Melissa had any choice in the matter. Heather was going to drag her out no matter what. They were meeting Finn and a group of Heather’s friends downtown at Zoot before going to a house party that Finn had been going on about. She hadn’t ever met Finn and was looking forward to seeing the new guy in Heather’s sights. For now, she knew only that Heather was into him. Next month, or next week, it might be someone else.

They arrived at the bar late evening and managed to get a table to themselves. By the time she had finished her first drink the place had filled to bursting, and the shift in mood in the cold, shiny, monochrome bar soon turned hot and rowdy.

“Come on,” said Heather, tipping the last of her margarita down, “drink up—it’s going to be a long night.”

They all sat around a large rectangular table. At first it was just Heather and the other two girls whom Melissa knew. Things were okay until Finn turned up. Of medium height, and with dirty blond, disheveled hair, he wore his low-slung jeans as a statement. After Heather introduced her as “the Melissa I was telling you about,” he gave her a smile that made her notice the dimple on his chin, and after that, he and Heather got busy getting close.

Once again Melissa was reduced to gooseberry status and was promptly reminded of her single days. She twisted her hair around her finger, for want of having something to do, and then flicked her hair back over her shoulder.

It was getting louder inside, the music almost drowned out by the ever rowdy crowd. She felt disjointed from the crowd, and alone, even in a place fit to bursting with people. Every now and then Heather checked to see if she was all right, and each time Melissa assured her. Then she’d turn her attention back to Finn.

“Are you coming to the party afterwards?” asked Finn, the one time that she was forced to talk to him, when Heather had vanished into the washroom. The way he asked her had her thinking that maybe he didn’t want her going around with them. She shrugged a “who knows” and buried her mouth in her drink.

Now she felt too acutely aware of being a burden and thoughts of self-pity returned. Heather came back, checked on her and then turned to Finn.

Left on the edges of no man’s land, Melissa eyed her friend and Finn for a moment. Together they looked like a pair of gorgeous blond-haired singers from an upcoming band. Both attractive in a head-turning way. She watched them talk and laugh, she saw that they shared little jokes, laughed at little things. He watched her, she watched him, with smiles on their faces, at the smallest of things. At times like this she often found herself analyzing her relationship with Matt, and she didn’t recall ever having any of those telltale moments with him.

She wondered whether Heather and Finn were together, whether they cared about one another or if their being together was purely a casual fling. Maybe Heather intentionally kept it vague because she wasn’t so sure herself which way things were going.

While Heather and Finn tickled tongues, Melissa made small talk with the other girls, and when that conversation petered out she scanned her gaze around the bar, so as to have something to do.

And that’s when she saw him.

Sitting around a similar sized table with a large group of people she assumed were his friends.

He stared straight at her, sending an arrow of excitement through her heart, kickstarting it. She jolted to attention.

Finally, they were somewhere other than the coffee shop. A sweet buzz of anticipation put a smile on her face as she pondered the possibilities of their meeting.

He acknowledged her with a subtle nod of his head, and she wondered if he felt the same level of excitement she did. A quick glance at the people around him gave her a rough ratio of guys to girls. They were almost equal in number, which to her anxious mind already signified that they’d come in couples.

To her skewed way of thinking, the chances were high that he had come with his girlfriend. All this time, during which they had shared furtive glances, chance meetings, conversations laced with expectation, the idea that he might not be single had peeped at her, but she’d chosen not to stare it in the face.

She was one to talk.

What would he think if he knew about her and Matt? She might be on a break from him now, but she’d been with him all those times she’d been looking out for Noah.

More friends turned up then, and she turned her head away from Noah to greet them before moving up to make way for them. When she turned back to Noah he was deep in conversation with his own friends.

Disappointed, she turned to her own group, but every now and then her glance moved from the conversation around her and fell upon Noah’s group. “What time are we going to this party?” she asked Heather who put her fingers to her ear.

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